Saul Bellow: Augie March

Saul Bellow's third novel, The Adventures of Augie March, involved commitment as a reader. I believed there would be a payoff, and sure enough the odyssey of Augie, the first person narrator, sucked me in somewhere around page 300 and took me along for the ride. I did have to study it--in the sense that I had to read it a chapter or two at a time, sitting at the dining room table (in other words, not in bed), with good lighting and a pen in my hand. Below is a summation of the book provided by Penguin Readers Guides:

THE ADVENTURES OF AUGIE MARCH
by Saul Bellow

The Adventures of Augie March burst on the postwar literary scene with the exuberance of a great American author finding his true voice. The most freewheeling of Bellow's heroes, Augie paints a fresh, gritty, comic view of the American landscape and poses anew the perennial questions: How do you reconcile freedom and love? How do you simultaneously find liberty and home in a chaotic world?

Bellow was already a well-known author when he began writing his third novel, but his early works, Dangling Man and The Victim, are very different books, written in a constrained, naturalistic form that he ultimately rejected as too limiting. Their central characters, introspective intellectuals trapped in claustrophobic circumstances, are reminiscent of Kafka's narrators. "I was afraid to let myself go," Bellow says of these works. He discarded the drafts of two additional novels because he felt they, too, were too bleak. Tired of the "solemnity of complaint," the plaintive tone he heard in the novels of his contemporaries and in his own first books, Bellow turned to his boyhood home in Chicago for inspiration.

The change proved immensely liberating and gave rise to the colorful cast of Augie March: Grandma Lausch, Einhorn, Five Properties, Dingbat, and many others, all of whom were rooted in the Humboldt Park neighborhood of Bellow's youth. Augie, a poor but spirited boy growing up in Chicago during the Depression, leaves his mother and disabled younger brother to find his way in the world. He enters a wild succession of occupations— dog groomer, saddle soap salesman, smuggler, shoplifter, boxing coach—guided by an equally fantastic array of mentors. Each of these "recruiters" attempts to determine Augie's lot in life, but whenever he is at risk of being taken by a person or profession, he slips away to a new misadventure, equal parts joiner and escapist. Not until his affair with Thea Fenchel does Augie begin to realize that love and independence are irreconcilable.

In one sense Augie is a characteristic Bellow hero, a young man with an ironic sense of the world, wary of taking direct action but certain that he belongs to a greater destiny. Like Bellow's other central characters, he is intent on finding a "good enough fate" eager to write his own part on life's stage yet stubbornly resistant to the limits imposed by any scripted role. But he is also dramatically different from the brooding thinkers of Bellow's early works. Augie is playful, subversive, adventurous, and ever optimistic. He is a new American Adam, innocently poised for a future full of promise in a land full of possibilities. No profession, no lover, no commitment can capture him. He risks his job as a book thief because he can't resist the desire to keep and read the books he has stolen. Although this very adaptability, this lack of firm obligations makes him hard to characterize or define, his first-person narrative conveys a compelling vision of American freedom, a fresh spirit of irresistible charm.

While Augie's character remains protean, the world he inhabits is painted with magnificent detail and texture. Infused with the vivid, hyperbolic Yiddish of his childhood, Bellow's narrative revels in the melodramatic people and language of 1920s Chicago. As Bellow said:

"The most ordinary Yiddish conversation is full of the grandest historical, mythological, and religious allusions. The Creation, the fall, the flood, Egypt, Alexander, Titus, Napoleon, the Rothschilds, the Sages, and the Laws may get into the discussion of an egg, a clothes-line, or a pair of pants."

The language of Augie March is likewise rife with heroic allusions, casting a mythic glow on Augie's smallest move. Augie's thoughts about his job as a labor organizer invoke John the Baptist, Stonewall Jackson, the Tower of Babel, and Ghandi's India in quick succession. Yet the extravagant metaphors sound uncalculated, falling as easily on the ear as a street-corner conversation. "The great pleasure of the book was that it came easily," Bellow said in an interview. "All I had to do was be there with buckets to catch it. That's why the form is loose."

Praise for Bellow's ebullient new style was enthusiastic, if not unanimous, and he won the National Book Award in 1953. Augie March was compared to Ulysses and described as "a howlingly American book." Supporters and critics alike recognized in him a powerful voice, a vision of America that could not be ignored. The book brought "a new sense of laughter," wrote Alfred Kazin. "In Augie, Bellow . . . discovered himself equal to the excitement of the American experience, he shook himself all over and let himself go."

Ultimately Augie's vision finds a tamer, more mature expression in Herzog, Bellow's masterwork. But Augie March holds a unique place for its rev- olutionary joy and exuberance. This rollicking tale of modern-day heroism is not only a portrait of determination and survival, but also a keenly observed drama of one man's "refusal to lead a disappointed life."

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memorable quotes:

“I am an American, Chicago born—Chicago, that somber city—and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. But a man’s character is his fate, says Heraclitus, and in the end there isn’t any way to disguise the nature of the knocks by acoustical work on the door or gloving knuckles.” (Opening Paragraph)

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“God may save all, but human rescue is only for a few.” (152)

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“He believed she was already in love with him.” (200)

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“Talk will lead people on until they convince their minds of things they can’t feel true.” (209)

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“She gave me enough silence in which to take it back, looking at me.” (252)

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“Well, given time, we all catch up with legends, more or less.” (333)

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“The whole mystery of life is in the specific data.” (434)

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“Anything that just adds information that you can’t use is plain dangerous.” (455)

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“You pay for what you want, not always what you get. That’s what a price means. Otherwise where’s the price?” (465)

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“But love is adultery, he said, and expresses change.” (483)

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“Why do you have to think that the thing that kills you is the thing that you stand for? Because you are the author of your death. What is the weapon? The nails and hammer of your character. What is the cross? Your own bones on which you gradually weaken. And the husband or wife gets to do the deed. ‘Kind spouse, you will make me my fate,’ they might as well say, and tell them and show them how. The fish wills water, and the birds will air, and you and me our dominant idea.”

“Can you say what is your dominant idea, Mr. Mintouchian?”

He answered readily. “Secrets. Society makes us have some, of course. The brotherhood of man wants to let us out of them by the power of confession. But I must beget secrets. I will be known by secrets at my death. . . .

Complications, lies, lies and lies! he said. . . .Mind you, I’m a great admirer of our species. I stand in awe of the genius of the race. But a large part of this genius is devoted to lying and seeming what you are not. We love when this man Ulysses comes back in disguise for his revenge. But suppose he forgot what he came back for and just sat around day in, day out in the disguise. This happens to many a frail spirit who forgets what the disguises are for, doesn’t understand complexity, or how to return to simplicity. From telling different things to everyone, forgets what the case is originally and what he wants himself. How rare is simple thought and pureheartedness! Even a moment of pureheartedness I bow to, down to the ground. That’s why I think well of you when you tell me you’re in love. . . ."

“You will understand, Mr. Mintouchian, if I tell you that I have always tried to become what I am. But it’s a frightening thing. Because what if what I am by nature isn’t good enough? . . . I suppose I better, anyway, give in and be it. I will never force the hand of fate to create a better Augie March, nor change the time to an age of gold.”

“That’s exactly right. You must take your chance on what you are. And you can’t sit still. I know this double poser, that if you make a move you may lose but if you sit still you will decay. But what will you lose? You will not invent better than God or nature or turn yourself into the man who lacks no gift or development before you make the move. This is not given to us.” (484-485)

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“I said when I started to make the record that I would be plain and heed the knocks as they came, and also that a man’s character was his fate. Well, then it is obvious that this fate, or what he settles for, is also his character. And since I never have had any place of rest, it should follow that I have trouble being still, and furthermore my hope is based upon getting to be still so that the axial lines can be found. When striving stops, the truth comes as a gift—bounty, harmony, love and so forth. Maybe I can’t take these very things I want.” (514)

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“Look at me, going everywhere! Why, I am a sort of Columbus of those near-at-hand and believe you can come to them in this immediate terra incognita that spreads out in every gaze. I may well flop at this line of endeavor. Columbus too thought he was a flop, probably, when they sent him back in chains. Which didn’t prove there was no America.” (536)

words:

balk, ward, goad, shill, gyp, gypped, gyp·ping, envenomed (with fear), embittered, bid, pacify, gorp (to eat a snack of high-energy food) , procure, lag, repudiate, debilitate, glom, arouse, stymie, pepper, stupefy (stupefaction), clung, blundered, sauntered, swell, hauled, hustled, harrowed, intercept, procure, gallop, interpose


toploftiness, persiflage (frivolous, bantering talk), ripple-assed luxury, fustiness (rigidly old-fashioned or reactionary) , avidity (keen eagerness), supernumerary (exceeding what is necessary, required or desired), rapaciousness (living on prey, voraciousness), assignation (tryst), axial lines, effrontery, guff (nonsense), confiteor ( from Middle English, literally I confess), jitney (slang for nickel)


wan (sickly, pallid, languid) , nonplussed , sullen, parricide faces, fiery, pale-fire concentration, sardonic (disdainfully humorous), temerarious (marked by temerity), indignant, negligible, gilt (gold covered), marvelous, verdigris (green, blueish deposit on copper, bronze or brass), restive (stubbornly resisting control, balky; marked by impatience, fidgety) , licentious (lacking legal/moral—esp. sexual restraint), empyrean (sublime), pellucid (reflecting light evenly / easy to understand)

my book shelf:

I will return my copy of Augie March to the Boston Public Library this afternoon along with my recently finished copies of Hatchet by Gary Paulsen and Runaway by Alice Munro.

Fish in the City, On the Shore

So a Kansan, a Transylvanian, a Belgium, a Portuguese, an Oklahoman and a Russian meet in a North end Oyster Bar. Much wine, much conversation, a few high fives, much-much laughter and a waitress who kicked us out—very politely of course after all that muchness. Four of them continue the conversation at an Italian cafe over limoncello and grappa. . .

I certainly know that my mother loves oysters on the half shell. I have some vague memory of tasting one myself, but I can't nail down when or where that might have been. Friday night I ate oysters. Unless someone can remind me of another occasion, I will mark my 31st birthday as an oyster first.

Frankly, the little opaque quivering masses have always slightly frightened me. But as the restaurant was a surprise as well as our guests who had valiantly held our table in the tiny, packed place, I was caught up in the moment. The waitress came by and asked for our oyster order. Yes, I admit, as the Kansan, I was not aware that one could choose from an extensive variety of oysters. I explained that this was my first time and the waitress kindly suggested a flight of four varieties recommended for the beginner.

The first one I swallowed (on the advice of the Russian) after holding it on my tongue--briny, slimy and altogether reminiscent of olives. The second one I chewed (per the advice of the Portuguese) and I have to admit the sweetness came through when my teeth sliced through the the soft flesh. A good beginning.

My birthday wish for seafood was well satisfied this weekend: oysters, followed by red snapper and the next day, up on the shore, mussels (home cooked Belgium style) and lobsters! We had theater tickets for a show at 8 p.m. on Saturday, but once out on coast and in awe of the sunset, we decided that food and friends trump theater tickets. So we offered the tickets to friends back in the city and got to be there to witness our dinner crawl first.

A fine seafood weekend. Not to mention a memorable 31st!

Read more about our little restaurant...the Neptune.

World's Shortest Stories

This morning I am treating myself to some fun little writing exercises, namely I have finally sat down and tried my hand at a 55 word short story ala Steve Moss' s The World's Shortest Stories. Ms. M. told me about this idea--short, short stories or sometimes called nanofiction--last year or the year before. I have had Moss's little book on my shelf for quite a while. Today, my last day of being 30 years-old, seemed like a good time to try my hand.

I prepared my morning coffee and reread the rules for the game in the back of the book. I won't bore you with an account of all the rules, basically the story must be 55 words (or less, but why less?) excluding the title, which can only be up to 7 words. Numbers (42, for example) count as a word. It has to be a story: characters, conflict and resolution (not to mention setting).

You must have a clear focus, a sharp idea. Once I got my first little story going, I quickly had over 100 words--yikes! Then I whittled and carved and threw articles out the door until I ended up with something that delighted me. Beware: I literally just penned this short, short story this very morning and so it is very rawish:

Poet Wields Metaphor

“Honey, where is the extra salt?” he implored from his study.

“Kitchen, second shelf,” she mumbled and ratcheted up the TV’s sound.

“Butcher knife—the good one?”

“Bottom drawer, inside the leather box, but what on earth for?”

“Salt and a razor edge: the stuff of poetry, my love. I’ll just open your mind, finally.”

by J.K.Kelley

This first attempt was such a good time that I wrote two more, but with less zing I think:

Wifely Duties

“Mrs. Wiggenstein, it’s about your husband.”

“Come in, and let’s talk inside. Tea?”

Too late she regretted her neighborly impulse. The Mrs. hustled her through the door and shoved her down the basement steps.

This one worried Mrs. Wiggenstein. Reginald had forgotten to fix that broken step, it seemed. She must increase his medication again.

by J.K.Kelley

And finally this last one seems pretty bad, but here goes:

Spare Some Change, Mister?

Two goddesses patrolled Newbury Street, swiveling their hips toward likely suitors.

One goddess slapped a young man. He cried out, but she left him there, a sniveling mess.

The other goddess smirked. “Tightfisted, couldn’t spare a few coins. Boys mistake confusion for suffering.”

They continued to beg down the street, one mortal at a time.

by J.K.Kelley

Here a few I have copied from Moss's book (he is the editor) to give you an idea of his collection:

Bedtime Story

"Careful, honey, it's loaded, "he said, re-entering the bedroom.

Her back rested against the headboard.

"This for your wife?"

"No. Too chancy. I'm hiring a professional."

"How about me?"

He smirked. "Cute. But who'd be dumb enough to hire a lady hit man?"

She wet her lips, sighting along the barrel.

"Your wife."

by Jeffrey Whitmore

Guitar

He'll never hold me as he holds that guitar. Hasn't touched me that way in years.

I'll get inside the guitar, to be in his arms again.

She spent all day, sacrificing shape, voice, everything but desire to be held. Finally inside, mute, invisible, she waited.

"Honey, I'm home! I bought a new guitar! Honey...?"

by John M. Daniel

I Want to Report An Accident

"Celia, it's all your fault. You'll find my bloated body in the pool. Farewell. Umberto."

She stumbled out, the note in her fist, and saw me, floating face down, like a giant fly marooned in Jell-O.

When she leapt to rescue me, and remembered she couldn't swim, I got out.

--Convict 338412

by Tom Ford

The Ordeal

She hated them! All of them! Their masks hid not their glee, as their groping hands held her down--for him.

The pain and the blood were unbearable. Still, he persisted, forcing her.

Her screams only encouraged him. She knew not to deliver meant certain death.

Finally, satisfied, he said, "It's a boy."

by Tom McGrane

Lecture: Margaret Atwood's The Penelopiad

Last night L. and I attended a reading by Margaret Atwood. I first read her novel, Cat's Eye at the suggestion of my book club. I quickly followed up with The Handmaid's Tale and then The Blind Assassin. These three books are just the tip of an impressive iceberg—she has many novels, books of poetry, essays and children’s literature as well.

The event was organized by Newtonville Books and held at the New Art Center, both in Newton. The venue was sold out, but it was an intimate space with about one hundred folding white plastic chairs in front of a raised stage. A heavy navy curtain hung at the rear of the stage and tiny white holiday lights adorned the arch. Hardwood floors tripled the excited chatter in the room.

I had dashed off to Newton a few weeks ago after an email update from the bookstore announced the event. Tickets were not available online or by phone. Rather they requested a visit to the bookstore and the purchase of her new book, The Penelopiad, and a surcharge to cover our entrance fee. The twenty minute drive took me nearly an hour and a half—due to faulty directions I swear! The bookstore, which has an enormous presence online and through its weekly author readings, is a relatively unassuming and cozy place. Since I had scouted the route, our trip there last night was in due time.

I had strong-armed L. to arrive quite early. I hate to be in a rush and I did not want to arrive late or even slightly harried to the event. The cocktail hour began at 6:30, and we arrived closer to 7:00. The reading began promptly at 7:30 and lasted almost exactly one hour, including the question-and-answer session.

The audience was mostly women, but there was a smattering of men and all ages were represented, though the average attendee was over thirty, well-healed and artfully coiffed. There were a few stunning crones who were given a helping hand and moved through the crowds on their own (well-deserved) red carpet.

After a brief welcome by Eric Phelps, director of the New Art Center, and by Betty from the Bookstore, Atwood took the stage. She wore a wide-collared coral button-down shirt beneath a black shawl with simple black pants. Her fringe of silver curls framed her face. She appeared elegant, but unpretentious when her cutting wit began to sizzle across the podium as she discussed the content and the genesis of her latest work.

In Homer’s Odyssey Odysseus' faithful wife Penelope does a lot of weeping, weaving and waiting. Atwood set out to retell the myth through two narrators: Penelope herself and the Twelve Maids, who are hanged upon Odysseus’ return to Ithaca. Atwood noted that Homer’s work (or work that has been attributed to Homer) is an epic poem that draws on some, but not all, of the oral myths of his time. In fact, there are stories and more information about Penelope in other ancient sources that didn’t make it into the Odyssey. Atwood made use of these.

For example, in the Odyssey Penelope weeps often and is famously chaste. Other sources reveal that she had one lover or perhaps made lovers of all one hundred suitors. It is also learned that Penelope’s father was Icarus, who tried to drown her when she was a child, and her mother a Naiad—a water nymph. Thus Penelope weeps because she is half-naiad, not necessarily because she pines so deeply for her long-lost Odysseus. Also revealed is that Helen of Troy is Penelope’s cousin, which creates all kinds of family tension between the beautiful Helen and the clever (but less pretty, damn it) Penelope.

The mythological sources do attest that both Odysseus and Penelope were renowned liars, that famous guile. The sources all agree that Odysseus had short legs. Thus he needed his guile even to win Penelope, whose hand in marriage was given to the winner of a foot race. Odysseus had actually tried to win Helen’s hand first, and when he lost he made a deal with Helen’s new husband (or her father?) that he would help him win Penelope by cheating at the foot race. He had to cheat due to those famously short legs. Perhaps he put a drug in the other runners’ wine. Penelope used her guile to either hold off the suitors or to keep them secret as her lovers. She also outwitted them with her ploy to weave a death-shroud and she set up the contest of the bow at the end. Finally she even tested Odysseus at the end with the secret of their marriage bed. Atwood takes these details and uses them to paint a more complete picture of clever Penelope.

Atwood read from the novel, a hilarious section in which Penelope and Helen meet in the underworld as Helen is about to take a bath. The entire novel is narrated from the afterlife, by the way, where Helen of course does not have a body that needs bathing. But she bathes to afford a glimpse of beauty to the hordes of men who follow her every ethereal move.

It was a short reading but very lively as Atwood took up the coy voice of Helen and the witty responses of Penelope as she read.

Atwood then took questions. I will try to tease out some of her responses here, as she really came to life with clever replies that the audience heartily loved.

She was asked about the genesis of this work. She told us that she was at a book fair in Edinborough and was having breakfast with a young publisher who set forth his plan for a series of re-told myths. He laid out his ambitious plans before she had had her coffee. She agreed to do one in his proposed series--having no idea what she was going to write—a bad idea, she noted. All the writers in the series would receive the same page allotment, a rather small number (which was attractive), as well as the same fee, a “paltry sum,” she laughed. But, as she said, “It was Help a Young Publisher Day,” and so she gave herself, reluctantly it seemed, to the task.

As a North American writer, she first attempted to re-tell a myth of her region. She found this impossible after several false starts. Finally the deadline loomed and she fumbled around and hit upon the Odyssey. She commented that while Penelope had never gotten much press in the modern world, since she read the Odyssey in school at age fifteen she had always been disturbed by the hanging twelve maids. “So much of writing,” she said, “is unfinished business.”

An audience member asked Atwood to talk about her own reading pleasures. Atwood was quick to say that she will read anything—even airline magazines or the back of the cereal box. She buys magazines in airports—news, science and commented that she had read two interesting pieces in Gentlemen’s Quarterly. She admitted to reading the equivalent of Harlequin romances to check out how things are changing—years ago the women were allowed to be governesses, nurses or art restorers. Men weren’t allowed to say much—just look sufficiently brawny. Now the women get to be doctors and lawyers and the men get complete sentences! She mentioned that she likes to read Stephen King, comic books and advertisements—although today’s advertisements have fewer words and more images.

She told a quirky little anecdote about reading an advertisement for the old Old Dutch cleanser (I’m not familiar with it myself, but here is a link with some images--none of which seem to be the one she described) when she was young—maybe five years old. There was a Dutch maid who had a broom to scare away the dust in one hand and in the other a can of the cleanser. But on the can in her hand there was the exact same picture of a maid with a broom in her hand and can of the cleanser. She noticed the infinite regression and wondered at it—what it meant for the poor maid, and perhaps for all women. The costumes for the women in “The Handmaid’s Tale” were inspired by that ad, except that she made them red.

She was then asked about how she started to write science fiction. She discussed her childhood growing up in the 1940’s in the golden age of “Flash Gordon” and coming of age with Ray Bradbury as her influences. She also quipped that science fiction “is where theology went after Milton.” It is where we set forth our ideas of how the world should or could be organized and governed. She noted that humans, Hitler, for example lay out their plans for the future well in advance, but that he was not believed. She cautioned belief when we read of diabolical plans that may seem like science fiction at the time.

For the most part the remaining questions had to do with her work as a writer. One young woman writer asked her for advice for an aspiring novelist. Atwood replied with a question, “To what does the young novelist aspire?” After a round of laughter, the young woman (not me, by the way!) said that she aspired to publication. Atwood did have some practical wisdom:
1) write the novel;
2) get an agent that loves you and understands your work (rather than a “big name”);
3) you are own your own; and, somewhat kindly,
4) good luck.

Another aspiring writer, I assume, asked her about her writer’s habits. Atwood said that she had always admired those who had a routine. She couldn’t handle it. She writes when she writes, in bursts, but not at a regular time each day. In the beginning, she would have long panic attacks and then end up at a movie after having written nothing. Now she has managed to compress her panic attacks into five minutes of sheer terror and then she gets on with the writing. She used to be a night time writer, but switched to writing in the day when she was caring for her daughter. One thing she knows for sure, if she would have waited for a routine, she never would have written a thing. I liked this last bit of advice. I have tried to discipline myself to have a set writing time in the mornings and feel terrible when I can't make it happen---perhaps I shouldn’t be so rigid with my practice after all. Perhaps.

When asked which of her many, many works is her favorite, she launched into a very funny comparison of a parent having to choose which of their children they love the best. Impossible to do—they each have their own gifts—and fatal because the others would certainly hear about it.

One of the last questions asked if she was working on something new. “Yes I am. Will I tell you? No.” She laughed at her emphatic response, but explained that she never talks about her new works. If she talks about them, she doesn’t write them.

A round of warm applause closed the Q & A and then the small mass that we were tried to arrange ourselves in an orderly fashion—we had been encouraged twice by the director to be civilized. He must have had experience with the bookie enthusiast crowds—things got a bit tense as people jostled for places in line to have Atwood sign precious copies of her new book or treasured well-worn classics. Luckily we all settled down and decorum reigned.

As I have written before, having an author sign my book always makes me uncomfortable. First of all, it is a strange kind of autograph seeking, which I find a bizarre custom, a slightly repellant longing. Then there is the impossibility of saying anything of consequence to the author who is churning out his or her signature. The whole thing is a bit sticky and stomach-churning for me. Getting so close and personal, but not really having a real encounter seems so sad. A bit. Is that just me? But she was as gracious as could be and I thanked her at least four times (I had three books signed). I am proud to say, I did not blather at all. Just smiled and glowed and tried not to stall the line.

I had briefed L. about Atwood herself and her newest book. I think he enjoyed the evening—the art, the sold out venue, Atwood’s aura and her wit. It was good to have his company. As we headed back to the car, the November air was chilly and suddenly we realized we were hungry. We had eaten a rushed dinner in order to make it on time, but after the excitement had ebbed we needed ice-cream calories. We contemplated stopping to buy a carton of Ben & Jerry’s. Right then we passed the huge glass windows of Cabot's Ice Cream & Restaurant filled with a lively crowd. We had never heard of the place, but it was clearly a beacon in the night. The sundae we shared was enough for four people—we couldn’t even finish it all! There is something singular about dipping your spoon into a mess of ice-cream, syrups and whipped cream—knowing there is more in your dish than you could possibly ingest, but the pleasure of trying is sweet indeed.

Party on the Beach, Vegetarian Hamburgers, and The Penelopiad

Friday afternoon we piled into the car and took off for a party up north, past Salem, on the coast. It was an hour drive that took us almost two hours due to the "scenic" route and a mad dash into a Dunkin' Donuts for a bathroom break and doughnut holes (bathroom for customers only....).

The view was fantastic and the house a writer's retreat--huge windows, a crackling fire, etc. etc. We stayed on the shore until the sun set, then moved inside for more food, more wine and lots more conversation--I think we covered the riots in Paris all the way to the love/sex paradox. I'm not sure that conclusions were reached. But we did imbibe to our hearts content and talk until we nearly pulled a muscle in our jaws. I laughed until my sides ached. It was a delicious night.

The next morning, I awoke with a headache. Not a hangover, mind you, more like too much good food and crazy talk had gone straight to my head and lodged there. Coffee was all that was needed to clear my synapses for another day. I should note, for the record, that the first words uttered by moi that Saturday morning are as follows: "Honey, I am a vegetarian." And I mean it. For years, roughly since the time I met a certain Hungarian, I have been a non-practicing vegetarian. I believe in it--philosophically, emotionally, even intellectually. Yet I had also been swayed by the kill-the-pig and eat all of it--snout to tail, approach of the Eastern European variety.

At the shore party, however, I fell into conversation with a certain Iranian, who had provided a lavish vegetarian spread from a local Indian restaurant. Somehow bullfighting had arisen as a topic of conversation and he had expressed his disdain, disgust and general repulsion. I jumped into the fray at that point and contributed that I had seen a bull fight in Madrid and, in fact, was surprised by my reaction, which was as follows: At least there was a pretense of respect for the animal. Man is going to kill and eat it. Bullfighting is honest about that AND they profess to eat snout-to-tail as well. Here in the States we pretend that the pink-in-plastic that we serve up with a garlic rub or a delicate white wine reduction is something other than meat. It arrives in the grocery store bloodless and ready for our tidy kitchens and hungry tables.

I could go on to support why I believe in abstaining from meat, but alas I shall save the philosophy. Perhaps I will develop my apology in a later blog; surely I will need one ready at hand for the inevitable questions.

In short, as of Saturday, I am a vegetarian who eats dairy, eggs and fish.

Saturday night, one day into my change of life, a group of people visited with a former high school friend of L's. Guess where we took them to dinner: Mr. Bartley's, Boston's famous hamburger joint for more than forty years. I had my veggie burger and felt good about it. So did my gut the next morning when L. was still complaining about all the food.

Sunday was quiet--lots of reading and stay at home out of the rain time.

I finished Margaret Atwood's newest book. It is called The Penelopiad and retells Homer's Odyssey through Penelope's eyes. It is a delightful read, but I have some questions. I will reserve comments until after we hear Atwood read and discuss her work this coming Thursday.

Carol Mulroney, The Last Word

I know that I should probably leave the entire "Carol Mulroney" play topic alone. But there is another episode. After I fired off my missive about the review I found off-kilter, the Globe emailed me back and wanted to publish my letter. I revised the letter and made it more newspaper friendly, but this did make it longer. Below you will see my revised letter, and then after you will see what was actually published in the Boston Globe. It is an interesting look at the exchange of ideas in the our daily news and the power of editing....

My Letter to the Boston Globe:

Ms. Kennedy's review (October 28, 2005) of Stephen Belber's "Carol Mulroney," in its world premier by the Huntington Theatre Company, described the play as having a "hollow core where its heart ought to be." Having seen the play myself before I read her review, I was shocked to read her take on it. It would be a pity if you stayed away from this production based on this one review.

I found the play's raw, yet poetic language effective. We watch as Carol, the main character, slowly moves toward the edge of the roof where she seeks solace from a noisy interior life. It is clear that she will end her life; the other characters must circle around this sad truth and try to reconcile their lives to it. I also recently saw Tom Stoppard's play, "The Real Thing," (also by the Huntington Theatre Company) and it helps to draw a comparison between the two in terms of language use.

When I left the Stoppard play, my cerebral g spot was in a tizzy from all the clever language and multi-layered meanings. I felt smart because I get some of his allusions and excited to better educate myself to understand more of his allusions next time. Belber's language, on the other hand, made me feel deeply alive. Lines that border on being fantastical evoked for me true emotion, namely the sadness of missed opportunity and denial. For example, the self-justifying histrionics of the self-deluded father and especially the soliloquy by the grieving best friend, which entails her sacrificing her deepest sexual self in search for salvation (her affair with Carol's husband was partly to blame for her death). I left the Belber play and walked out into the cool evening air knowing that I am human. And, unlike Carol Mulroney, still alive.

True, my brain didn't sizzle the same as when I am post-Stoppard, but my heart did. After a Stoppard play, you have little to discuss. You feel that you need to see the text, underline the clever bits and discuss it in a Socratic Seminar to uncover its meanings. After Belber, my boyfriend and I sat in a nearby cafe and happily hashed out the characters and the ways they interacted and how it related to our own lives.

Yes, I thought there were weak moments in the play, but it was hardly the failure presented in the Globe's review. This is a play that my generation can really get. We make jokes at the "wrong time." We have grown up with "The Vagina Monologues" and we respond to the raw language it reclaimed. Belber is a fresh new voice who was trying to write about "someone with a sort of inexplicable sadness." What is sad about the play is that one review in the Globe might prevent Belber from an audience who can appreciate his work.

J.K.Kelley
Boston

What was published in the Sunday Arts & Entertainment Section,

November 6, 2005:

Louise Kennedy's review of Stephen Belber's "Carol Mulroney," described it as having a "hollow core where its heart ought to be." ("Up on the Roof," Weekend, Oct. 28). I found the play's raw, yet poetic language effective. I thought there were weak moments in the play, but it was hardly the failure presented in the review. This is a play that my generation can really get. Belber is a fresh new voice who was trying to write about "someone with a sort of inexplicable sadness." What is sad is that one review might prevent Belber from [getting] an audience who can appreciate his work.

J.K.Kelley
Boston

My Book Shelf

I may not be going to Harvard, but I am certainly getting an education here in Boston. I have a full slate of things to read and places to visit, not to mention martinis to drink and miles to go on my treadmill.

Partly to impose some order on my self-assigned curriculum, here is an account of what I am reading:

I slog through Saul Bellows' Augie March, which I have just re-checked out AGAIN from the library. Finally, I have had a break-through chapter and think that I will, perhaps, make it to the end. Good stuff. Just dense, dense, dense. Coming-of-age is hard work.

I will return to the library The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman--I have to be tough and make some choices....

I finished Ryan White: My Own Story and can check that off my list of Young Adult writing. A good story. The account of his friendship with Michael Jackson is a bit eerie, I have to say.

I also finished Typical American by Gish Jen, which I found compelling, and can return it as well and check it off the Indiana Recommended Reading list.

I need to read and finish Margaret Atwood’s newest book because I will go see her next week on Thursday, November 10th! So I will focus on that as my "light" reading. Let the Atwood countdown begin.....

But what I want to seriously read is from so-called experimental fiction. I recently read an article in Harper's by Ben Marcus called "Why Experimental Fiction Threatens to Destroy Publishing, Jonathan Franzen, and Life as We Know It." You must bow down to that title, at least. While I am spinning from the debate--I have jumped into literary fisticuffs for the first time, really--I am mostly happy that his article has excited me about nonnarrative fiction. Now I just have to figure out what that means. Marcus has turned me on, in several senses of that phrase, to an entirely new set of authors and I can't wait to dig in and see where they take me. . . I think I will dare to start with William Gaddis's Carpenter's Gothic.

I also checked out from the 'brare Alice Munro's collection of stories, Runaway.

Not to mention that I am reading about two stories a week from the O. Henry Prize collection for my fiction writing class at Emerson--which is a wonderful class made up of delightful minds.

And not to mention that I finally read a few stories from John Cheever.

I can't believe I have the audacity to write short fiction in the shadows of such great work. I am undaunted! My plan: immerse myself in fiction, especially short and experimental fiction, and then wait for an explosion--either of my brain or my imagination.

Giving Birth to a Better Brain

For all my friends who are parents, or soon-to-be new parents, here is an interesting read from the Boston Globe:

Giving birth to a better brain: Do babies sharpen parents' minds?
By Erica Noonan, Globe Staff, October 31, 2005

Women with small children have long been saddled with an unflattering stereotype -- incompetent, dull-witted, frazzled, and preoccupied with domestic affairs. The derogatory cliches vary, from ''maternal amnesia" in medical circles, to the colloquial ''placenta brain" in the United States and ''porridge brain" in Great Britain. But a new body of research -- so far still mostly in animals -- is fueling the idea that motherhood may actually rewire the brain, making mothers (and involved fathers) more perceptive, competitive, efficient, and even socially aware. And sociological studies suggest that most of the symptoms of ''mommy brain" may be due as much to exhaustion and stress as biology.

Comparing the brain of a non-mother to that of a mother is ''like comparing a tree in the winter to one in full bloom in the spring, when it is much fuller and richer," said University of Richmond neuroscientist Craig Kinsley, a leading researcher in the field.

The transforming experiences of pregnancy, labor, and caring for small children ''enables the brain to process information much differently than it did before," he said.

Kinsley and other researchers have found that beginning a few weeks after giving birth, a female rat's cognitive abilities -- particularly smell and visual perception -- start to expand. Rats nursing a litter of pups discover and catch prey three times as quickly as virgin rats, he said.

Kinsley's analysis of brain tissue from rats in late pregnancy showed that neural pathways in the hippocampus, the center of learning and memory, were essentially ''remapped."

The changes, Kinsley and others said, probably come partly from the experience of pregnancy and labor, when elevated levels of estrogen, cortisol, and other hormones literally bathe the brain. The presence of pups and the demands of caring for them also contributes to brain changes in mother rats -- even caretaker rats who have never been pregnant. In repeated studies, mother rats with pups have proven to be bolder and quicker at finding hidden food.

''We believe the pups are having an effect on the mother, enhancing her efficiency," Kinsley said.

''The pups have a paw in their own survival. The mom isn't a passive caregiver. Rather, absorbing sensory information from the pups has an influence on her brain."

The phenomenon hasn't yet been studied in women, but the rodent studies have important implications for humans, said Kelly Lambert, chair of the psychology department at Randolph Macon College in Virginia.

''Rodents have all the same brain parts we have," she said. ''Human brains are thicker and more complex, but as a model it's a very reasonable place to start."

Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Katherine Ellison made worldwide headlines earlier this year with her new book, ''The Mommy Brain: How Motherhood Makes Us Smarter," which looks at the experience of mothers in the context of new advances in brain research.

Ellison delayed motherhood until age 37 for fear it would doom her intellectual life. But two babies later, she actually felt more efficient and ''smarter" than ever.

''Although I'd had newspaper deadlines before, never had I been responsible for deadlines involving other people's lives and I found that duty made me more alert and focused," she wrote. ''I had many more reasons to worry, yet to my surprise, I felt calmer. And I kept running into other mothers who felt the same way."

But the news hasn't reached many pregnant and post-partum women, who often too-willingly buy into the ''Jello-brain" stereotype. In effect, this creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, said Ohio University neuropsychologist Julie Suhr.

Women in their third trimester, who were told they were being tested to see how the pregnancy had affected their memory and performance, scored significantly lower than equally pregnant women who were given the tasks without explanation. The pregnant women were clearly affected by the negative stereotypes about their brains, Suhr's students found.

``In essence, it shows that we can talk ourselves in and out of things," Suhr said. ''They performed badly if they thought they would."

Lack of sleep, the absence of adult companionship, and a shortage of time for exercise and relaxation can also make all parents -- men and women -- feel duller than they really are, Suhr said.

New fathers escape the brunt of maternal prejudices. But research in mice suggests they may still enjoy some of the same brain boosts of parenthood, as well as some of the biochemical changes exhibited by females.

Kinsley and Lambert found that father mice and marmosets performed better than non-parents at tests of foraging and remembering the location of hidden Froot Loops. And like mother rats, father rats experience growth in brain cells after fathering pups, albeit much smaller growth.
In the past five years, research into ''Daddy brains" has revealed expectant fathers experience the similar, smaller spikes in prolactin and estrogen levels well-documented in pregnant women.
Maternal brain research in animals has so far focused largely on cognitive tasks directly related to mothering, like foraging for food and seeking out shelter.

But some researchers say it isn't unreasonable to think that increased learning, performance, and efficiency could extend to other aspects of human life, including the workplace.
In a study of women and leadership, Sumru Erkut, associate director of the Wellesley Centers for Women at Wellesley College, found that in a survey of 60 high-achieving women, many said they used their more limited time at the office to get more done, and employ their newfound ''Emotional IQ" and management skills to increase office output, she said. They cited their use of traditional mothering techniques -- such as empathy and understanding -- to manage employees.

None of the women in the Wellesley study cited motherhood as a detriment to their work, Erkut said, although many women in the contemporary workplace regularly downplay their roles at home.

''Historically men have credited military and sports backgrounds as giving them tools to be leaders," said Erkut. ''It's not out of the question that women would someday list motherhood on a resume with pride, instead of trying to cover up the fact she's stayed home for a time."Erica

Noonan can be reached at enoonan@globe.com.

One Novel in Thirty Days---Go!

I just heard about this idea--a contest to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month. The contest is officially in the month of November, so I am too late to jump on this bandwagon this year. Maybe next year? Here is a recent article from the Boston Globe and some helpful hints that I will post so that next year I will be ready to go....

30 day guarantee
Ready, set, write: Thousands of aspiring authors have vowed to create an entire novel in one month

By Pat Washburn, Boston Globe, November 1

One of these days you'll write that novel. How about today?

This is the first day of National Novel Writing Month, in which thousands of aspiring writers around the world (not just the nation) will write the first words of a manuscript. Their goal: 50,000 words (about 175 pages) by midnight on the 30th.

Laura le Tellier of Hebron, Conn., has ''won" -- achieved the 50,000-word mark -- twice, and is planning a third novel. She remembers sitting down to write on Nov. 1, 2003, with her fingers on the home keys and no clue what to type. Twenty-nine days later, she had a long story about a 70-year-old trapeze artist -- and a sense of accomplishment. ''I impressed myself with what came out of my head."

Erin McCauley is stocking her North End apartment with red wine and chocolate-covered popcorn this month, as she plans to write an Edward Gorey-inspired children's novel. She, too, is on her third NaNoWriMo, as it is called. The first year she stalled at 15,000 words -- ''I had too much invested in the story and kept being discouraged that what I was writing just wasn't that good." Last year she went in without as many preconceived notions and managed to finish.
Of course, anyone can sit down to write a novel. What makes NaNoWriMo different is that -- as with a successful diet -- participants commit to it publicly at the beginning. Before Nov. 1, they sign up at nanowrimo.org, and at the end of the month, they submit their manuscripts for word-count verification to be certified as winners.

Along the way, they can participate in online forums with other aspiring novel writers, sharing their joys and struggles (and, perhaps, finding a convenient outlet for their procrastination urges). A network of ''municipal liaisons" -- volunteers, usually past participants -- offers
encouragement and support.

Schuyler Towne, 21, of Mission Hill, is the liaison for Boston. Along with a novel about suicides and Diane Sawyer, he's also planning events for the month, starting with today's ''Write-In" at TOMB, where NaNoWriMo registrants can gather and start creating.

National Novel Writing Month began in 1999 with 21 friends in San Francisco. Chris Baty was one of them. As word spread around the Internet, the population of would-be novel-writers exploded. Working mostly on deadline and without much of a plan -- rather like a NaNoWriMo author -- Baty created an organization with a mission (donations help build libraries in Third World countries), rules (no co-authoring, no graphic novels or screenplays, no writing the same word 50,000 times), and a manual, ''No Plot? No Problem!"

Last year, 42,000 people signed up, and nearly 6,000 finished on deadline. Organizers expect 60,000 would-be novel-writers this year.

Participants say they value the format because it forces them to write. Randy Pinion, a Boston University journalism student, acknowledges, ''I am a terrible procrastinator!" But he plans to produce a fantasy novel while keeping up with his schoolwork and celebrating his 19th birthday.

''Everybody says they have this novel in them that they want to write, and then they never do it. This sort of gets you off your behind," says Annie Archambault, an editor for a newsletter publisher in Boston who will take part in this year's event.

Which is not to say that it's a piece of cake. ''The first week is easy," explains Beth Collins, a former English teacher who owns a yarn store in Camden, Maine. Collins has tried before but has never finished; she will be writing this year. ''The second week, you start getting tired of the daily writing and it gets to be a pain. You hate the stupid story and feel like it is just a waste of time."

So why do it?

''NaNoWriMo makes me realize how dedicated a person would really have to be to writing to pursue it as a profession. However, it also reminds me that writing is fun."

Erin McLaughlin, a Northeastern freshman, didn't finish her 2004 entry. ''I had a cold and skipped a day to sleep. Then [I] didn't feel like writing the next day, so I swore to make it up the following day. And so on and so forth until it was December." She's trying again, determined to finish her character study of a Victorian-era vampire as part of her path toward eventually becoming a full-time writer.

Most of this month's writers won't get money and fame from their work, but there are other rewards. Patti Cassidy of Jamestown, R.I., is 58, an age at which one starts to evaluate one's accomplishments. ''There are three things I've done in my life that have given me real self-respect. One was riding cross-country solo on a motorcycle. One was sky-diving out of an airplane from 11,000 feet. And the third was finishing NaNoWriMo" last year.

''The first thing I did when I finished my book was to print out the entire thing -- 220 pages of my book," says Travis L. Kelley of Roslindale, who this year has persuaded two friends and his brother-in-law to join the writing masses.

Lori Libby was able to sell her 2003 NaNoWriMo project,''Hunter's Arrow," to Wings ePress, an electronic book publisher. It's a romance set in Maine, involving a shape-shifting werewolf. She values her NaNoWriMo Novembers because they allow her to turn off the ''Type A perfectionist" inside her head. She can polish later.

Susan Midlarsky, who teaches fifth grade at the Jewish Community Day School in Watertown, uses NaNoWriMo in the classroom. She sets each student a goal of 500 to 5,000 words, depending on ability level. ''My goal for the children is for them to fall in love with writing without worrying about the mechanics, and to set and accomplish a goal that is much harder than they would have thought possible for themselves. Every year I have done this, every single child has had a wonderful time, and there are always a few who come out with creative writing as a true passion in their lives."

''Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap," warns the NaNoWriMo website. Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn -- a performance artist from Westbrook, Maine, who's planning a mystery/romance set at a clown convention -- is well aware of it.

''Can I write a book? Sure. Will it [stink]? Probably. Will I have fun? Definitely."

Helpful hints for staying on the write track

By Pat Washburn, Boston Globe, November 1

Tips from past National Novel Writing Month participants:

Don't plan too much. Outlining is fine, but you're more likely to finish if you haven't invested too much in the story -- or gotten bored with the characters -- before you begin.

Include the kinds of characters, elements, and events you like to see in novels. ''I like action. I like zombies in general. I love highly detailed descriptions of safes being cracked," says Matthew Garelick of Dorchester. His tentative plan for his novel starts with an elaborate scene of a vault being opened and ends with an epic battle against zombies. How will he connect the two? He'll find out this month.

Don't edit as you go. Promise yourself that you will fix that scene, change that dialogue, rename that character -- but not until after Nov. 30. (A companion event, National Novel Editing Month, is held in March.) Those with a real need for speed (or a particularly persistent internal editor) may want to try using a very basic text-editing program to avoid spelling/grammar checkers.

If you know you're going to be writing ''Zebulon Galaxy Warfleet" a bunch of times in your book, assign it a single-character name -- ''z," let's say -- and then do a search-and-replace in your word processing program at the end. (This also provides a very satisfying boost to your word count.)

Wear headphones. Even if there is no music coming out, they can signal to people around you that you are writing and need to be left alone.

Participate in communities. Many NaNoWriMo participants credit their fellow writers with helping them finish -- or at least you can enjoy the company of other procrastinators.

Give yourself small rewards along the way. ''OK, I can take a break and watch 'Lost' if I finish 2,000 words by then."

This is not school. It's fun. Enjoy it.

Lecture: Elie Wiesel

Sometime around seventh grade I read Elie Wiesel’s Night. I was fascinated by Holocaust stories and devoured everything I could find about that time. It was my first introduction to mass evil and the Jewish people.

I am the product of years—1st grade through graduate school—of Catholic education. Back in my hometown in my Catholic junior high school, I never met a Jew. I don’t think I did until college. Even as I learned about Jewish culture and Hebrew Scriptures I still lacked the personal element. When I did think about Jews, I saw them as victims. While this is sympathetic, I still also thought of them as “other.” Two recent experiences have changed my stance.

Last Friday L. and I were invited to Sabbath dinner at the house of his colleague. It was the first time I had been invited into a home that observes the Sabbath. I was a bit nervous, but not any more nervous than when I have to meet anyone for the first time. Sure enough it was a delightful family and their children and I talked about books and played War (the endless card game). We didn’t have time to get to Spoons. The hospitality they shared with us had been cultivated and nourished, and we reaped the blessings.

Tonight I went to Boston University to hear Elie Wiesel speak. His talk was one of three in a series labeled “The Fascination with Jewish Tales.” Doors opened in Metcalf Hall at 6pm for the 7pm lecture. I thought that he was going to speak at the BU bookstore at 5:30, but it turned out that that event was only a book signing. Even though I had already gotten in the soon-to-be long line to have his newest book, The Time of the Uprooted, signed, I opted to head down to the lecture. I wanted to see his face as he spoke. I got my wish.

I was in the first wave to enter the hall and made my way to stage left, second row, fourth seat from the center aisle. As it happened, Wiesel arrived early and then stayed late just feet from my seat. He is a small man with a lively face and a halo of silver hair. He was dressed comfortably in a navy blazer, light blue button down and a navy tie. His thick Hungarian accent was music—he was born in Transylvania.

Steven Katz, Director of the Elie Wiesel Center for Judaic Studies at Boston University, introduced Wiesel. He stood at the podium and boomed his brief comments to introduce Wiesel as the final talk in a conference entitled “Reconsidering The Protocols of the Elders of Zion: 100 Years After the Forgery.” Katz cut an impressive figure at the podium and when Wiesel took the stage and sat at a wooden table provided for him, he perched on the edge of his seat, crossed his ankles and leaned into his papers ready to do the opposite of boom.

As I learned from Wiesel, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a forged document, utterly false, published at the turn of the century that pretends to be a series of notes, lectures and plans written by Jewish leaders in the Diaspora whose plan is simple: world domination. As Wiesel noted, any intelligent person who reads it will be horrified at the hate and ignorance in its pages. Yet the document was used and is still used in our times to justify anti-Semitism. Henry Ford published the Protocols in his own company newspaper, with a circulation of 200,000 and had 300,000 copies published as a book. Today fanatic Muslims read it with as much fervor as they dedicate to the Koran.

Wiesel sat calmly as he recounted what is known about the origin of the document and how it has been received over the past 100 years. Occasionally he swept his right hand up and through his hair to make a point. It is not possible to track down the exact place or even language of origin. Perhaps we should be more concerned, he suggested, with how it has been received, how it has been used as a weapon of hate in our world.

It has survived and flourished precisely because it is easy for the world to entertain a conspiracy theory to explain how the Jews have survived down through centuries of hate. It has survived because the Christian myth inherited both the notion of a Jewish monotheistic God as well as the myth that the Jews destroyed their God. Christians, over time, have remembered and relived only the consequences of the second part of the myth. To paraphrase Wiesel: The Jews gave us God and God’s murderer, but now only the second part is the Jewish legacy.

The existence of the Protocols helped me to understand the great fear of Zionism I had come across in history books over the years. The fact that people’s fears, condensed in a conspiracy theory, were actually written down turned a fear into mandate for hate.

Wiesel’s speech built up to his theme: hate empowered by words. Literature, with a few exceptions, is creative and therefore can not be created from hate. Among many examples, Wiesel mentioned that Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet survives as literature because it is not only about civil strife and warring families, but about innocent, desperate love. The Protocols, even though it has been published as a book, survives not because it is literature, but because it uses words as weapons. The weak, the fearful cling to these words and find those hateful words coming out of their own mouths. If you want to understand hatred, Wiesel said, study its language. The Protocols is a prime example.

Wiesel concluded his speech by clearly stating that Jews do not want to dominate the world or conquer it, they want to redeem it. When the messiah comes, Jews do not expect everyone to become Jewish. They do want more hospitality, people to be more human and open to what is noble in all of us.

He finished on that resonant note, and didn’t take questions. The audience applauded and a line immediately formed to kiss him on both cheeks, embrace him, fumble out words of praise and thanks. A young student asked him to autograph Night and said, “You are such an inspiration. You probably hear that all the time.”

He replied, “No, I don’t” and returned her book as he looked her in the eye and smiled while his brawny bodyguard hovered nearby.

I could have asked him to sign my freshly purchased The Time of the Uprooted, but I held back and just observed him and how people moved around him. Those who knew him were relaxed. His fans were respectful. One woman murmured to her companion, “This is such an honor to be here.” He is “one of the great men of our century.”

A jeans-clad student, perhaps one of the many required by their professors to attend, emphatically told her friend, “I am going straight back to the library.”

“Me too,” her friend affirmed.

Wiesel slowly greeted as many fans as he could, then took his leave. I did too.

The walk home was unseasonably warm for a Halloween night.

I don’t know what I could have said to him if I had waited in line, but I do know that his lecture has made me more aware of the way words can be powerful weapons of mass destruction, words alone.

The final lecture in the three part series centers on his new book and will be November 21, 7pm at Boston University. More information: 617-353-2238

Link to NPR recording of the lecture: http://www.buworldofideas.org/
(This may not be a stable link)

My New Hat and Theater Offensive

L. and I had a lazy afternoon defined by our search for a real, sinful hamburger with all the fixings. We ended up at Harvard Square and settled into our 3 o’clock plates of beef for him and tuna salad for me. I had actually gone to the gym that Saturday morning and I wasn’t about to invalidate my sweat with French fries (although I did steal a few of his, of course). It was snowing huge, wet flakes outside. I still haven’t gotten my winter coat ready for the season and was a bit chilled in my leather jacket. Then, the hat.

I swear I have been waiting thirty years for this hat to happen to me. What a revelation to have a warm head. We had ducked into the Cambridge Artists Cooperative, mostly to get out of the snow, and found our way into the back where hats galore adorned the walls. I walked out of there with a “Wild Tibetan” in green and black made by Susan Bradford. The hat came with instructions. I love it. I wish I had a picture of it. More important than the impressive rim, however, is that it keeps my entire body warm. This is amazing. My whole life I have been missing this hat.

The hamburger and the hat tired us out and we headed home for a late afternoon nap. The physical pleasure of a Saturday afternoon nap makes the entire week go down a bit easier. It was good that we napped because we decided at the last minute to go to the theater. It was another first for me. Readers beware: the production was by The Theater Offensive, whose mission statement reads:

To form and present the diverse realities of queer lives in art so bold it breaks through personal isolation and political orthodoxy to help build an honest, progressive community.

The play we saw, “Varla Jean Merman’s Girl With a Pearl Necklace: An Act of Love” was part of the 14^th Annual Queer Theater Festival called “Out on the Edge 2005.” With my Wild Tibetan perched on my head, it was no problem to brave the snow and walk to the theater. We headed toward the theater early enough to grab a bite to eat nearby before the 10:30 show. Luckily we had been to the same arts complex before and know a place, Garden of Eden on Tremont Street, that has tasty sandwiches and desserts.

We headed into the theater a few minutes before the show to find a lively crowd and an open bar (though I think the drinks were nonalcoholic). That evening's show was the last of a four-day run for the actor, Jeffery Roberson, and there was a spirit of celebration in the air.

This was our first time to see a show performed by a man in drag. It was hilarious—pure outrageous, campy fun. We were definitely in the straight minority, but we were not “outed” in any way or made to feel uncomfortable. Varla Jean Merman regaled us with her stories about looking for love in all the wrong places, impressed us with her medleys (especially the Puccini/Beyonce number) and delighted audience members with jokes and her amazing ability to sing and eat cheese at the same time. Hilarious.

After the show, thanks to our nap, we were wide awake as we strolled home. It was a beautiful night, and we marveled about the show we had seen---we certainly are not in the Midwest anymore.

Temper Chocolate Class

About one month ago, I read a blurb in the Boston Globe about a Chocolate Class offered by a small independent chocolatier, Temper Chocolates. I called and reserved a spot for L. and me that day. Then I carefully entered the date, Oct. 27th, and time in L's palm pilot to make sure that we both made it there!

The class was held in the Commonwealth hotel in Kenmore Square, just upstairs from the tiny kiosk store. About 25 or 30 "students" enrolled and the room was packed. Each place setting in the u-shaped configuration had a small plate with about 9 squares of chocolate. Ice-cold water in pitchers and goblets were at the ready so that we could cleanse our palates between nibbles.

Caroline Rey, the young owner and chocolatier, led us through the evening.

We had a packet of information next our plates that detailed the major trends in the chocolate world: country/region of origin, percentage of cocoa content and cocoa varieties. Just as the grapes grown in the hills of Tuscany produce a distinct vintage, so too does the cocoa plant grown in a specific valley in Venezuela affect the taste of the final chocolate product. Or so the theory goes.

The finest chocolate in the world grows in a Chuao, Venezuela. We got to taste it. We had started with a Hershey's bar and moved up to the refined Chuao chocolate. And, sure enough, I could tell the difference. And I did think the Chuao was amazing. But I am no chocolate snob. There is a time and a place for a Snickers.

One of the most useful, and poetic, things we learned that night had to do with cocoa content. It turns out that the best chocolate bars should have five ingredients: chocolate (cocoa), sugar, soy Lecithin (an emulsifier), cocoa butter (which is the naturally occurring oil found in the bean) and vanilla. Milk chocolate, of course, should have milk as the sixth ingredient.

Many chocolate makers take out the cocoa butter and sell it the cosmetics industry for a huge profit and then use synthetic fats in the chocolate instead. For example, a Godiva bar we looked at used "butter oil" which is soy bean oil treated to taste like butter. Yuck.

Another useful fact: While Godiva did in fact start out as a small Belgium chocolatier, it has been owned and operated since the 1970's by Campbell's. Yes, the soup people. Do not be seduced by the brand name.

Ms. Rey sells chocolates by Amedi, who manufacture in Tuscany. Although all cocoa is grown in South America and Africa, it is all manufactured in Europe and around the world. A student did ask about Fair Trade, which is an obvious concern, but Ms. Rey deftly replied that she believes Fair Trade is mostly a marketing device. In other words, they claim to monitor the plantations, but in reality this is nearly impossible. So don't buy it to ease your conscience, because it is most likely just a ploy to get your chocolate dollars. Hhmmm. I am not sure about that, but I see her point.

As the class ended, a student next to us identified herself as a Boston Globe Food Writer and asked us questions about our experience at the class. She was a lovely woman and we enjoyed telling her about our passion for sweets, even if he prefers milk and I prefer dark. I'll keep my eye out for the article!

Basic Plain/Dark Chocolate Tasting Technique:

To taste the base and primary flavor notes, wait a few seconds after you place a piece of chocolate in your mouth.

To release the secondary flavors, expand the chocolate's surface area by chewing five to t ten times.

Let the chocolate melt slowly by pushing it gently against the roof of your mouth. Note the flavor, the texture and the way the chocolate lingers on the tongue.

Carol Mulroney: Review and My Response

Here is the review posted in today's Boston Globe about the play I blogged, Carol Mulroney. Let me just say, I thought the review was off the mark. Way off. So, for the first time, I emailed the reviewer my thoughts. I have pasted my email below. I know that most of you have not seen the play, but alas, for posterity.

Here is the review:

STAGE REVIEW
Up on the roof
In 'Carol Mulroney,' actors reach heights the script can't match
By Louise Kennedy, Globe Staff October 28, 2005

Stephen Belber's ''Carol Mulroney," in its world premiere by the Huntington Theatre Company, has many clever lines, an ingenious structure, thoughtful acting, solid design, and the kind of commitment and backing from a significant company that most playwrights only dream of. It is painful, therefore, to report that the play has a hollow core where its heart ought to be.

Belber, whose credits include ''Match," ''Tape," coauthorship of ''The Laramie Project," and multiple episodes of ''Rescue Me" and ''Law & Order: SVU," has said that he wanted to write a play about ''someone with a sort of inexplicable sadness."

Carol Mulroney, who spends most of the night on the roof of her urban town house, is indeed inexplicably sad. Belber gives us some of the reasons -- a troubled marriage, a childhood tragedy, a complex relationship with her father, an untrustworthy friend -- and has the characters around this young woman spend a lot of time describing her sadness. He also has them talk about her other qualities, and we see her in a variety of moods. Clearly, he wants to depict a complicated person whose motives and desires are often mysterious, even to herself.

But there's a difference between mystery and confusion. In plays, if not in life, we look for some kind of exploration of the mystery -- not a tidy resolution, but a coherent, emotionally satisfying narrative that, by the end, makes us feel that we have walked a path with a real human being and gained some insight into her sorrows and joys. What ''Carol Mulroney" gives us instead is a collection of monologues and images, some wonderfully intelligent and some depressingly crude in both language and thought, that leave us, 90 minutes later, struck mainly by the observation that Carol's most typical line is ''I don't know."

As Carol, Ana Reeder manages to inflect this line with various shadings of puzzlement and wonder; she speaks and moves like an exploring, tentative child, which feels right. Like the other gifted actors onstage with her, however, Reeder is hamstrung by a script that at once under- and over-explains. Belber's speeches can run almost shockingly long, and they're full of literary-sounding phrases. But somehow you can't quite get a grip on who these people are; it's as if the language obscures, rather than clarifies, their true natures.

Would Carol's blustery salesman of a father, for example, really say of the women's cosmetics that have made his fortune, ''It's the face we put on to face the folly; it's our savior, our Apollonian veil spread delicately across the void"? Would Carol's complicated best friend, a smart and apparently feminist artist, really use the most hateful word for female genitalia, repeatedly and bizarrely, in a strange and nasty soliloquy that winds up with her imagining her ''spores" being inhaled by a despondent Turkish sailor?

Belber is lucky to have fine actors -- Larry Pine as the father, Johanna Day as the friend -- bringing as much nuance and dimension as possible to such speeches. Tim Ransom and Reuben Jackson also do what they can with the thankless roles of Carol's husband, Lesley, and rival salesman Ken. And if Lisa Peterson's direction sometimes veers too far toward cheap laughs at the expense of character, it's only partly her fault. The script is already tilting in that direction, with its persistent favoring of clever phrasing or neatly worked-out structure over believable human feeling (as when the characters joke at the most unlikely moments or repeatedly mention the time in order to clue us in to how the narrative timeline is circling back on itself).

The Huntington has been working on ''Carol Mulroney" with Belber since 2003, when the play received a staged reading in the company's ''Breaking Ground" program. Its designers have given it their all, particularly in the multilevel set by Rachel Hauck that evokes Carol's rooftop. So much effort; so little reward. It's enough to make a person explicably sad.

Louise Kennedy can be reached at kennedy@globe.com.

And my email response to her:

Dear Ms. Kennedy,

I have never responded in writing to a review of any sort, but I have been moved to respond to your scathing review of Carol Mulroney.

I recently saw the play myself and found its raw, yet poetic language effective. I loved the cunt spores.

I also recently saw Stoppard's play, The Real Thing, and it helps to draw a comparison between the two in terms of language use.

When I leave a Stoppard play, my cerebral g spot is in a tizzy from all the clever language and multi-layered meanings. I feel smart because I get some of his allusions and excited to go out and better educate myself to understand more of his allusions next time.

Belber's language, especially the self-justifying histrionics of the self-deluded father "Apollonian veil spread delicately across the void" juxtaposed with the cunt spores dissolving on the tongue of a strange man as her salvation for the bitch-feminist friend made me walk out of the theater knowing that I am human. And, unlike Carol Mulroney, still alive. True, my brain didn't sizzle, but my heart did.

After a Stoppard play, you have little to discuss. You feel that you need to see the text, underline the clever bits and discuss it in a Socratic Seminar to uncover its meanings.

After Belber, my boyfriend and I hashed out the characters and the ways they interacted with fervor and energy.

Yes, I thought there were weak moments in the play, but it was hardly the failure you present in the the Globe.

This is a play that my generation can really get. We make jokes at the "wrong time." We have grown up with The Vagina Monologues and are not afraid of cunt spores on stage. Belber is a fresh new voice. What is sad about the play is that your voice might prevent Belber from the audience who can appreciate his work.

Just my thoughts,

J.K.Kelley

Play: Carol Mulroney

L. had wanted to go see a theater piece ever since our arrival in Boston. I had seen Stoppard's play while he was out of town. Finally last week we decided we would see something together, even though the listings were not too enticing. We put off buying tickets.

Wednesday morning I read an article in the Boston Globe about the playwright Stephen Belber, which noted that he had co-written and acted in The Laramie Project. My interest in the playwright was peaked. I have never seen The Laramie Project, but intend to do so. But that work was on my mind because of a story in the news about a production of that play last week in Kansas that faced the threat of protesters who see the play as "pro-gay." Imagine that. The horror. The real horror is that the protesters claim they act in the name of Christ. I digress.

I also learned that the play was a world debut. That did it. Thursday morning we bought the tickets online to see Carol Mulroney that same night.

We were almost late, but thanks to a speedy Greek, who showed me what it means to DRIVE in Boston, we were just in time.

I won’t give away too much about the play. Here is an official blurb:

The allure of the simple life often finds its way into the souls of complicated characters. But matrimonial love and home-grown potatoes are not enough to overcome the demons that haunt Carol Mulroney. Sitting on the roof, overlooking the beauty of the city from a distance, she contemplates her tempestuous past with her father and her uncertain future with her husband in this compelling world premiere drama.

The whole play takes place on the roofs of New York, a fresh idea that Belber claims he developed as he stood onstage during a long scene in The Laramie Project that required the actors to stand still and avoid the fidgets. Most of us would have let our minds turn to mush while we waited for our stage exit. He wrote a play inside his head.

The language, his diction, is natural and unaffected. After Stoppard, your cerebral pleasure zone tingles. After Belber, you know that you are human.

When we left the theater, the temperature had dropped and we were freezing in the wind. Hot drinks were necessary. Actually we stopped in a nearby café/bistro and had red wine—for our health—and pumpkin cheesecake (for me) and a chocolate-raspberry concoction (for him). Naturally we shared. Tannins and fat do effectively raise one’s internal heat.

Show Information:

Carol Mulroney
by Stephen Belber
Directed by Lisa Peterson
Virginia Wimberly Theatre
October 14 - November 20, 2005
Tickets

Don't be Shelf-ish with your books!

bookcrossing n.

the practice of leaving a book in a public place to be picked up and read by others, who then do likewise.

(added to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary in August 2004)

If you haven't clinked on my new favorite link, then please do so today! Commit Random Acts of Literacy at BookCrossing.com. The visionaries who started the site want no less than to turn the entire world into a library! I love it! Let's take over the world! Literary Geeks in Kansas and Thailand and everywhere in betweeen unite!

The idea is this: Read a book, label it and write a short journal about it, then set it free in the wilds. Someone comes along, captures it, reads and journals about it, then sets it free once again. The book's journey--where it goes and who reads it--can be followed online and readers can even email or meet, if they wish.

It is too much fun and whimsy to ignore.

Be warned that while registration is free, you do need to purchase materials to release your books (stickers, labels, etc.). But the basic package is less than $20. Just think of all the dusty books you have in piles and how they will thank you to be set free. If you love them, let them go!

So far I have set free two books: Snow in August and The Tipping Point. Here is the journal I wrote online at BookCrossing for The Tipping Point:

BookCrossing Journal

The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell

There was BG and AG in my reading life. Before Gladwell, and after. Before Malcolm Gladwell I had no time for nonfiction. There were too many delicious novels out there. Now I can’t get enough of him. I devoured this book and then his next, Blink

If you are familiar with Gladwell's other books or essays, you know what to expect from The Tipping Point: smooth prose, intriguing stories and the endless reward of having good stuff to mull over.

It is Gladwell--not Sue Monk Kidd or Anita Diamant or, even, Dan Brown--that I find myself talking about. At dinner parties. At family reunions. On the metro. I even picked it for my traditionally fiction-only book club. They adored it.

Even if you are too busy for nonfiction, trust me. Take a bite.

You will sink your teeth into Gladwell’s compelling idea: “little changes can have big effects; when small numbers of people start behaving differently, that behavior can ripple outward until a critical mass or "tipping point" is reached, changing the world.” (From Publishers Weekly).

Isn’t this a PERFECT book for BookCrossing.com? See if you know what I mean after you have finished it!

For more Gladwell reading: Check out the follwoing website, where he has posted all of his New Yorker Essays: Gladwell.com