Witness

A Necessary Fiction

Notes on reading eros: the bittersweet by anne carson

He seems to me equal to gods that man

who opposite you

sits and listens close

to your sweet speaking

and lovely laughing--oh it

puts the heart in my chest on wings

for when I look at you, a moment, then no speaking 

is left in me

no: tongue breaks, and thin

fire is racing under skin

and in eyes no sight and drumming

fills ears

and cold sweat holds me and shaking

grips me all, greener than grass

I am and dead--or almost

I seem to me.

Sappho, fragment 31

"It is a poem about the lover's mind in the act of constructing desire for itself."

"There are three points of transformation on a circuit of possible relationship, electrified by desire so that they touch not touching. Conjoined they are held apart. The third component plays a paradoxical role for it both connects and separates, marking that two are not one, irradiating the absence whose presence is demanded by eros. When the circuit-points connect, perception leaps. And something becomes visible. . . . The difference between what is and what could be is visible."

***

"A space must be maintained or desire ends."

As a sweet apple turns red on a high branch,

high on the highest branch and the applepickers

     forgot--

well, no they didn't forget--were not able to reach

. . .

Sappho, fragment 105a

"The poem is incomplete, perfectly."

". . . this poem acts out the experience of eros. . . . Sappho begins with a sweet apple and ends in infinite hunger. From her inchoate little poem we learn several thins about eros. The reach of desire is defined in action: beautiful (in its object), foiled (in its attempt), endless (in time)."

***

"Eros is an issue of boundaries. He exists because certain boundaries do. In the interval between reach and grasp, between glance and counterglance, between 'I love you' and 'I love you too,' the absent presence of desire comes alive. But the boundaries of time and glance and I love you are only aftershocks of the main, inevitable boundary that creates Eros: the boundary of flesh and self between you and me. And it is only, suddenly, at the moment when I would dissolve that boundary, I realize I never can."

***

"Words do have edges. So do you."

"There is something uniquely convincing about the perceptions that occur to you when you are in love. The seem truer than other perceptions, and more truly your own, won from reality at personal cost. . . . All at once a self never known before, which now strikes you as the true one, is coming into focus. A gust of godlikeness may pass through you and for an instant a great many things look knowable, possible and present. Then the edge asserts itself. You are not a god. You are not that enlarged self. Indeed, you are not even a whole self, as you know see.Your new knowledge of possibilities is also a knowledge of what is lacking in the actual."

"Desire changes the lover. . . . The change gives him a glimpse of a self he never knew before."

***

"In writing, beauty prefers an edge."

***

"Let us superimpose on the question 'What does the lover want from love' the questions 'What does the reader want from reading? What is the writer's desire?' Novels are the answer."

***

"To create pleasure and pain at once is the novelist's aim."

"Novels institutionalize the ruse of eros. It becomes a narrative texture of sustained incongruence, emotional and cognitive. It permits the reader to stand in triangular relation to the characters in the story and reach into the text after the objects of their desire, sharing their longing but also detached from it, seeing their view of reality but also its mistakenness. It is almost like being in love."

***

"All lovers believe they are inventing love."

"The novelists who constructs this moment of emotional and cognitive interception is making love, and you are the object of his wooing."

***

"Written letters have the presence and authority of a third person, who is witness, judge and conduit of erotic charges. Letters are the mechanism of erotic paradox, at once connective and separative, painful and sweet. Letters construct the space of desire and kindle in those contradictory emotions that keep the lover alert to his own impasse. Letters arrest and complicate an existing two-term situation by conjuring a third person who is not literally there, making suddenly visible the difference between what is. . . . and what could be. . . . From within letters, Eros acts."

***

"As you perceive the edge of yourself at the moment of desire, as you perceive the edges of words from moment to moment in reading (or writing), you are stirred to reach beyond perceptible edges--toward something else, something not yet grasped. The unplucked apple, the beloved just out of touch, the meaning not quite attained, are desirable objects of knowledge. It is the enterprise of eros to keep them so."

***

"Sokrates' central argument, as he goes on to reevaluate madness, is that you keep your mind to yourself at the cost of closing out the gods. Truly good and indeed divine things are alive and active outside you and should be let in to work their changes. Such incursions formally instruct and enrich our lives in society; no prophet or healer or poet could practice his art if he did not lose his mind, Sokrates says (244a-45). Madness is the instrument of such intelligence. More to the point, erotic mania is a valuable thing in private life. It puts wings on your soul."

"When you fall in love you feel all sorts of sensations inside you, painful and pleasant at once: it is your wings sprouting (251-52). It is the beginning of what you are meant to be."

***

"In any act of thinking, the mind must reach across this space between known and unknown, linking one to the other but also keeping visible their difference. It is an erotic space. . . . When the mind reaches out to know, the space of desire opens and a necessary fiction transpires."

Men say Thank You

Men saying hank tou to the midwife who gave birth to fathers.

This short video was made in solidarity with Agnes Gereb, the imprisoned Hungarian midwife. She advocated for the presence of fathers at births in hospitals.

Please share.

https://youtu.be/qiuvKlXkyQM

The fathers are saying, “köszönöm” (thank you).

Kisfilm az apák méltóságáról, a férfiak szüléshez való viszonyáról. Hálamondás az apás szülés lehetőségéért.

#FreeGerebAgnes #budapest #riseinsolidarity#OBR #midwife #fathers

Agnes Gereb

Hungarian is the language of love. Not French. You will fall in love with a person speaking French. You learn Hungarian after you fall in love with a person when you discover their Hungarian origin. I did. And the language and the country and the man I fell in love with still leave me speechless at times. 

Today I am using my voice in solidarity with a Hungarian woman, Agnes Gereb, who was sentenced to two years in jail for charges relating to her practice as a midwife. Hungary, led by the nationalist, Viktor Orban, has passed public policy that encourages birth. For a country that knows its population (and power) are decreasing, there are seemingly only two responses: women have to give birth and refugees have to be turned away. In this country that seeks to create a culture that values family, at least procreation, it seems the ultimate irony that they simultaneously persecute a midwife. 

Yet it is far from ironic. It is cynical. It rings true for the famously pessimistic, long-suffering Hungarians. It is worse than cynical, however. It is tyrannical. It is the establishment (patriarchy, government, medicine) exercising power. It is rape. We should not limit rape to the invasion of a body. It does not do justice to the systematic abuse of power that seeks its own existence rather than serving the people. It is illiberal. Which is exactly what Orban has articulated. He seeks to create an illiberal democracy that controls its population rather than defends its citizens. 

Times up, Orban. My Hungarian friends in Budapest, where I lived with my two children for five years, see themselves as citizens first. They are outraged at Agnes’ incarceration. Their message is clear: We see Orban’s duplicity. We stand with Agnes Gereb and demand justice for her, for all of us. Hungarians need to act with their hearts, speaking the language of love, to defeat the cynicism that defines and limits them.

#midwife #Hungary #womensrights #birth #illiberal #Orban #OBR

Bitching

Hello,

I attended the Sunday 1:00 pm performance of the Wizard of Oz at the Opera House.I bought four tickets and attended with my daughter, a friend, and her daughter. The tickets were $119 and we were seated in the orchestra, row u, seats 105,106,107,108. We experienced two problems:

Handicapped seats were placed on both ends of our row. Both patrons were unable to stand once seated. This forced us to awkwardly crawl over an elderly lady to enter our seats and at intermission, even at the end of the show. Surely there must be a better solution?

Also, at intermission we went directly from our seats to the women's restroom. Nevertheless, my daughter and friend (who needed the facilities) were unable to do so in time. They missed two major musical scenes because of the long lines or lack of suitable women's restrooms. This is infuriating. After spending nearly $500 on tickets, I feel this is an unacceptable way to treat a patron. Especially a nine-year-old girl.

Many thanks for your attention,

Janet Kelley

Kids are More Powerful than Guns

If this populace believes that the 2nd amendment teaches unrestrained access to guns, then I am going to teach my kids that they are more powerful than guns. I will raise the next generation to think politically about what is best for our citizenship. Who is with me to develop lesson plans for kids regarding gun control? #education #lifelonglearner #longview

Two Public Elementary Schools

First Day of School in Budapest:

The kids arrive dressed in white shirts and black pants or skirts. This is the customary attire for special occasions in the school: the first day, national celebrations, and graduations. The children, accompanied by their parents in the younger grades, go directly to their classrooms. There is commotion as the kids find a seat, taking any available seat. The room is crowded for the thirty students in the class. The additional parents fill every available space. Shortly before 8 am, the kids line up and process to the school’s courtyard. The younger ones (grades 1 – 2) sit on benches. The rest of the students, grades 3 – 8, stand in lines or clusters. The principal greets the student body and gathered parents. The choir sings several songs. A student reads a poem. There are more speeches. The ceremony goes on for about an hour. Then the students go back to their room to spend the first day, which will dismiss after lunch.

Expectations: dress formally, stand still and listen to speeches given by grownups, listen while classmates perform poems and songs. Values: tradition, compliance, respect for community

First Day of School in Brookline:

The kids arrive dressed in whatever they choose. They gather in the cafeteria until the bell rings and then they proceed to their assigned teacher, the younger ones accompanied by a parent. The teacher has prepared the classroom space (there are no walls or doors) with clearly displayed instructions that engage the kids immediately, directing them to store their backpacks and get started on a project. In this case, the kids were directed to decorate a bookmark. As the twenty-one students find their places, the teacher is meeting each child. She has a big smile. She greets them by name and points out their assigned spot. The parent says goodbye and the child remains for a full day of school.

Expectations: dress how you choose, immediate engagement and self-sufficiency, student as a team player. Values: individuality, transparency (clear expectations), teamwork

OBR Budapest Saturday night!

(english scroll down)

Mit csinálsz szombat este?
Gyere, találkozz velünk a Barrio Del Tango bárban Pesten!

Akik még nem ismerik a Break the Chain táncot, Szántó Nikolett autóversenyző vezetésével részt vehetnek az estet megelőző táncpróbán 7-től.

Az este 8-kor ismerkedéssel és tombolajegy árusítással kezdődik. Bombera Kriszta segítségével bemutatjuk vendégeinket, a három női és nőket segítő civil szervezetet. A Break the Chain táncot Arany Timi énekkíséretében táncolhatjuk el, az est elején, majd újra a végén.

Az „Open Mic” -szabad mikrofon részben slamköltők és feministák szólnak hozzánk. Házigazdáink, a Barrio del Tango művészei, Tímea és Simon tangóbemutatót tartanak nekünk, majd a Tilos Rádió (női) DJ-je, Sanyi Tilos zenéjére táncolhatunk a lenti parketten. Ő felelt a történelmi pesti Women’s March zenei hátteréért is. A fenti studióban az iskolateremtő Brezina Kinga tart NIA táncórát. Ha még sosem próbáltad, most biztos beleszeretsz ebbe a mozgásformába!

Mire a hangulat a tetőfokára hág, Zsuzsó Shererah Sárközy hastáncosnő előadását is megnézhetjük. Az értékes művészeti tombolanyereményeket az est végén sorsoljuk ki. Ha eljössz, úgy tudod támogatni a nők kizsákmányolása és a nők elleni erőszak elleni küzdelmet, hogy közben energiával és jókedvvel telítődsz.

https://www.facebook.com/events/465202520270111/

Támogathatsz és táncolhatsz az Est a Kizsákmányolás Ellen rendezvényen  február 18-án, vagy támogatásodat elutalhatod az alábbi bankszámlákra is:

Józan Babák : Magnet Bank 16200216-17085906-000000000

JÓL-LÉT Alapítvány : Magnet Bank HU48 16200151-18528549-00000000

Magyar Női Érdekérvényesítő Szövetség (Női Érdek) : Unicredit Bank HU32 10918001- 00000019-84720012

#riseinsolidarity #1billionrising #womensmarch

What are you doing Saturday night?

We hope to see you at the Barrio Del Tango.

For those who want to learn or practice first-time the the Break the Chain dance, rehearsal starts at 7 pm with Nikolett Szántó, the motorcar drift champion.

The evening’s program will start at 8 pm with mingling and raffle tickets. We will introduce our three women’s right NGOs with the help of Kriszta Bombera. The community dance performance of Break the Chain comes right after this to the live performance by singer Timi Arany.

There will be an Open Mic and slam poets and feminists will perform. Our hosts for the evening at Barrio del tango, Tímea and Simon, will present a tango performance. The guest (woman) DJ, Sanyi Tilos, will run our dance floor. (She was responsible for the music of the historic Women’s March in Budapest earlier this year.) Upstairs will be a NIA dance session. (If you haven’t tried it, our awesome instructor, Kinga Brezina will make you fall in love with it.)

Later in the night the belly dancers , Zsuzsó Shererah Sárközy’s group and guest, will perform for us! She might even teach us a few moves! The winners of the prestigous art object raffle will be announced right before the event closes with another Break the Chain dance.

If you can't join us Saturday night, you can donate directly: Write "One Billion Rising" on bank transfer.

Józan Babák : Magnet Bank 16200216-17085906-000000000

JÓL-LÉT Alapítvány : Magnet Bank HU48 16200151-18528549-00000000

Magyar Női Érdekérvényesítő Szövetség (Női Érdek) : Unicredit Bank HU32 10918001- 00000019-84720012

#riseinsolidarity #1billionrising #womensmarch

One Billion Rising Budapest 2017

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Join us on Feb. 18th! The evening’s program will start with mingling and raffle tickets. We will introduce our three women’s right NGOs. While they will speak briefly in Hungarian, all three speak English as well and look forward to discussing their work with you. Slam poets will perform. And our hosts for the evening at Barrio del tango will present a tango performance. The guest DJ, Sanyi Tilos will run our dance floor. Upstairs will be a NIA dance session. If you haven’t tried it, our awesome instructor will make you fall in love with it. Later in the night the belly dancers will perform for us!

And what can you win in the raffle? Art! Dance lesson vouchers! The change to commission an original artwork! Autographed books (in English and Hungarian), Wine, and more!

It’s cold outside. Come to the One Billion Rising Anti-Exploitation Ball and keep the marching energy hot! 

https://www.facebook.com/events/465202520270111/

#1billionrising #womensmarch #sistermarch #riseinsolidarity

Meet our Beneficiaries

The One Billion Rising Budapest 2017 campaign supports three nonprofits working to end the exploitation of women:

Józan Babák--which helps pregnant women and women with young children become substance abuse free (many of their clients are prostituted women or exited women)

JÓL-LÉT Alapítvány--which works to support women’s rights in the workplace

Női Érdek, the Hungarian Women’s Lobby--which strives to build a feminist culture and defend women’s rights

Representatives from these organizations will be available at the ball to answer further questions.

https://www.facebook.com/events/465202520270111/

#Budapest #1billionrising #riseinsolidarity #sistermarch

One Billion Rising Budapest Fundraiser

Dear Friends,

Please join us February 18th, 2017 for the One Billion Rising Anti-Exploitation Ball: an evening of dance with all proceeds donated to local women’s rights groups. The evening is hosted by Barrio Del Tango, with a guest DJ.

While Budapest is famous for many things including its nightlife, it is also famous for its exploitative sex industry. The One Billion Rising Budapest 2017 campaign supports three nonprofits working to end the exploitation of women. The first, Józan Babák, helps pregnant women and women with young children become substance abuse free (many of their clients are prostituted women or exited women). The second nonprofit is JÓL-LÉT Alapítvány, which works to support women’s rights in the workplace. And the third is Női Érdek, the Hungarian Women’s Lobby, which strives to build a feminist culture and defend women’s rights. Representatives from these organizations will be available at the ball to answer further questions.

One Billion Rising Budapest is seeking donations to ensure that these NGOs can continue to carry out their work in Hungary and to help exploited women rebuild their lives. You can donate and dance at the Anti-Exploitation Ball on February 18th, or you can transfer funds directly (even from abroad) to these accounts:

• Józan Babák: Magnet Bank 16200216-17085906
• JOL-LET Alapíitvany: Magnet Bank HU48 1620 0151 1852 8549 0000 0000
• Magyar Női Érdekérvényesítő Szövetség (Női Érdek): Unicredit Bank, Hungary HU32 1091 8001 0000 0019 8472 0012

Please note “One Billion Rising” on transfer.

With thanks,
Janet Kelley, One Billion Rising Organizer and Hungarian Women’s Lobby Volunteer

For more information about One Billion Rising, a global campaign to stop violence against women: http://www.onebillionrising.org/

Join our Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/465202520270111/

One Billion Rising Anti-Exploitation Ball:
February 18th, 2017. 8 pm – 12 am
Barrio Del Tango
1053 Budapest, Irányi utca 18-20
No formal dress required! Come dressed to dance!
Entrance to the party is free. Cash bar.

#riseinsolidarity #onebilionrising

America's Moral #Pulse

More love. More vulnerability. More kissing.

#SpencerTunick photo

#Orlando

America's Moral #Pulse

#LoveIsLove

perspective

There are two parenting styles at the playground. One views a slide as uni-directional. The other style is espoused by a parent whose kid challenges such one-way linear thinking.

My kid proved today that there is more than one way to shimmy down a fire pole.

#videobyhissister
#letthemfail(fall)
#blesshissoul

#passthewine

One Billion Rising Budapest 2016: Theater and Dance (video)

This year's event featured the Break the Chain dance followed by an innovative theater piece created to explore sexual consent.

The play focusses on the idea that sexual violence is often committed by acquaintances who use other methods than physical coercion.

A theatre performance, website (www.nane.hu/kerszteat), and short films send messages to perpetrators, victims and the society: 

no means no, and only yes means yes.


View the dance below:

#rise4revolution
#vday
#kerszteat
#Budapest
#breakthechain

RISE DANCE DISRUPT! BY EVE ENSLER

1 FEBRUARY 2016 > V-DAY

RISE DANCE DISRUPT!

I think we must live now on the edge of incomprehensible madness, refusing to give up 

and refusing to pretend. Dancing on the precipice of annihilation while passionately 

encouraging and welcoming the new paradigm. This is most difficult in a world, in 

a system that has thoroughly indoctrinated us in a refusal to think, in the sound bite, 

in yes and nos, likes and unlikes, with us or against us pathology, in idiotic, 

consumable brandable, reductionist absolutes. To be an enthusiastic absurdist requires 

embracing ambiguity, insecurity, and it means looking at the predicament we are in 

head on. It means leaping and assuming you will fall, dancing in the chaotic 

impossible passionate possible.

So we must learn the art and practice of disruption. We must release the tentacles 

of our false securities and interrupt the world as we know it. We must assume that 

anywhere we live or anything we are doing can change or disintegrate on a dime and 

we must practice changing and letting it go. Living as if there is no future but the one 

we are creating. Nothing guaranteed but our willingness to live as pioneers of a new 

consciousness and way. And we must become disrupters. That is the power of creative 

resistance. Interrupting business as usual, taking stands that forfeit our acceptance or 

economic elevation, risking disapproval and controversy, participating in actions that 

loosen our grip on the suicidal givens and push the tyrants to fall. Disrupters, fighting 

and dancing with all our might for life over comfort.

– Eve Ensler

a big dose of America

Read more about it: http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/anthem-of-freedom-how-whitney-houston-remade-the-star-spangled-banner?mbid=social_facebook

#whitneyhouston
#starspangledbanner
#holy shit

Fries as Destination

Dear Seth,

Meet me in Brussels? Happy to revisit the important work of updating this article with you.

j

Read article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/travel/in-brussels-frites-are-more-than-just-fries.html?_r=1

#bucketlist
#friesasdestination

Gender Tales: Pink Tax in Budapest

Hold on, I will get to the Pink Tax.

When my daughter started first grade in Budapest in 2014 there was a steep learning curve for both of us.  My expectations about the first-day experience were not met and I was I was deeply shocked by what I considered to be profoundly misguided traditions inconsiderate of children's needs when entering the care of a new school and a new teacher.

Over time I developed a love-hate relationship with the system. No school is perfect. But those striving toward perfection earn my respect. I worry about a system that doesn't seem self-aware, self-critical, or open to the changing needs of its population. However, it should be noted there is a growing teacher rebellion against the nationwide reforms imposed three years ago. The movement is worth your attention and support. Teachers are revolting and parents are revolting by turning away from the public system to open independent new schools.

Back to my local school and my kids. I think it is fair to say that a public school is a perfect microcosm of its culture. (And this will lead me to the Pink Tax, pinkie-swear.)

My current analysis of Hungary is that at the center of its cultural identity is this word:  Tradition. My theory about America is that its central word is:  Independence. These words function in ways that are fascinating to explore and tease out from the news and the arts. These identity tags function.

At the center of the Hungarian school is the notion of tradition with a capital T.

One example of this is the required sports class and its requisite uniform. I was instructed at the parent's meeting to purchase for my daughter a "torna ruha," white socks, and gym shoes with white soles. I get the gym shoes requirement, as it keeps the floors clean.

My first task was to understand "torna ruha." It translates to "gym clothes." However, in the Hungarian tradition (Tradition), this means the girls wear a leotard and the boys wear gym shorts and a white t-shirt. In a classroom of thirty kids they all strip down to their Star Wars skivvies and put on the gym uniform. Right away this signals the gym class is not a play class but a workout. Physical fitness is another lesson, as rigorous as math or reading. I have theories about this too. Seriously, how effective can that be? I know my husband learned to skip gym classes as soon as possible when growing up in a Hungarian school system. But let me stay focussed on the Pink Tax. We are getting there.

After much discussion about the gender imbalance related to requiring girls to wear body-revealing leotards while boys wear comfortable sports clothes, I dutifully went to the sports store. I had resigned to buy my daughter the leotard as well as the shorts and t-shirt. I would pack both and let her decide what worked best for her.

I found the display for the gym clothes. And there it was: The Pink Tax. The leotard cost 2,999 forint (about 10 dollars), which is not cheap. The shorts and the t-shirt combined cost 2,789.  A lesson in the marketplace before the first day of school: It is expensive to be a girl and have the "right" outfit! Granted, the price was only slightly more for the girl outfit. But there it is. Not only does the Tradition expect her to wear a body-revealing costume, it expects her to pay more for it (for less material).

It still makes my blood boil, roiling with pink bubbles of indignation.

#worldwidepinktax
#ugh
#gendertales
#budapest


FYI: More on the pink tax:  http://time.com/4159973/women-pay-more-everything/

Budapest Games

Berlin: 1936
Roma families are taken from their beds and detained in a camp outside of the city where visitors to the 1936 Berlin Olympics will never see them. Later they would be taken to death camps. Hitler had ordered Berlin transformed and perfected for the world to see his ideas made real on its streets. Anti-Semitic signs were removed (stored, and then replaced after the games). The Der Stürmer, a newspaper whose slogan was “The Jews Are Our Misfortune” was removed from newsstands.

Budapest: July, 2015
Budapest and the Hungarian Olympic Committee officially announce their intention to bid for the 2024 Olympic Summer Games.

Budapest: Nov. 7th, 2015
Excerpt from Viktor Orban’s Speech to his Diplomats: Hungary’s historical given is that we live together with a few hundred thousands Roma. This was decided by someone, somewhere. This is what we inherited. This is our situation, this is our predetermined condition…. We are the ones who have to live with this, but we don’t demand from anyone, especially not in the direction of the west, that they should live together with a large Roma minority.

Sources:

Description of Berlin: adapted from The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown
Orban’s speech: English translation taken from the HungarianSpectrum, a blog written by Eva S. Balogh

Shit English Teachers Think About During the Summer

Thoughts on Harper Lee

GSaW is about Scout developing her individual moral consciousness, separate from her Father. The moment happens, but we are not given evidence of how she has really changed. I think Lee used that as the central storyline, the racial tensions are context. Yet by the time she finished TKM, she seems to set aside this feminist awakening and instead focuses entirely on the race issue. In part because she goes back to tell the story from Scout’s childhood.  But I also see that she in TKM actually embodies Scout’s awakening in GSaW and writes the story that demonstrates her feminism without having to explicitly use it as a plot device.  I know this collapses Lee into Scout, which may be unfair. In her case, as these are her only two extant works, it is certainly tempting.  

In any case, she had to write GSaW first. She had to write her way through Scout's (and her own?) awakening. And thus Lee found her power and her voice, which became the younger Scout and her ability to tell Lee's story about racism and the South.