Stats

Lenard, One Year:

Ht. 30 in.

HC. 19 in.

Wt. 21.5 lbs.

(7/8/2010)

first word: uh-oh.

"Lenard"

In a few short weeks we will celebrate Lenard's first birthday. As I learned with Izabella's first birthday, this is a big deal--for me. Living through the first year of parenthood was a major accomplishment. Yet there is no bullet point under which to designate such on your resume. So there must be a party. With funny hats. Cake that the little one smears around. Cuteness, etc. Izabella's first year was an eternity. Leo's first year has passed in an instant. Still, he survived us. We survived him. Let's party.

As I ponder his yeardom, I realize that I have yet to write about the fact that he is "Lenard." By now calling him Leo is natural and I like the sound of it, "lay-oh." My little summer tomato. I even introduce him proudly as Lenard, "lay-nard," and give a brief explanation about his Hungarian roots. Still I am a bit shocked to think that I have a son, and his name is Lenard. It is a bold choice, the name. I can only hope he will carry it well. For his sake, I will tell the story of his name. It will be perfect fonder for elementary school essays and therapy sessions, perhaps.

Long before Leo, we were at his future Grandmother's apartment in Transylvania looking at birth certificates from ages ago. There are three male names that have been repeated in my husband's family. My husband has two of those names (long story), and his first son has the other. As we sorted through the birth certificates in his mother's collection there was a Lenard among them. I noticed it because my grandfather and one uncle are named Leonard. I remember thinking at that moment that Lenard would be the right name for our future son. If I only dared--both to have a son and to choose that name.

My husband has no recollection of this event. Clarification: He just said that he remembers looking at the certificates, but didn't have an a-ha, Lenard moment about his future son and doesn't remember Lenard among those ancestors.

You would think knowing for something like twenty-three weeks that it was a boy would be enough time to select a name. Not for us. We would leave the hospital with our little one nameless. It took us one week to return and officially designate him Lenard. In the meantime, we decided on Zoltan. I introduced him as Zoltan to our neighbors to practice with the name. Months later neighbors would ask how little Zoltan was faring.

Zoltan? Lenard? Unless you are Hungarian, you must think us terribly eccentric. Zoltan, however, is as common in Hungary as John in America. Perhaps even more common. Whenever my husband mentions that Zoli (the nickname) did or said such and such, the first question is always: Which Zoli? To American ears, on the other hand, Zoltan or Zoli is (methinks) pretty unusual, even cool. I liked that it cannot be translated to an American equivalent. We settled on Zoltan. One morning we rallied the family to get dressed and loaded up carseats to head to the hospital and sign the papers. As we were going out the door, my husband called a halt to the operation. He just couldn't do it. The baby wasn't a Zoli in his eyes.

To be honest the Hungarian male names just aren't that attractive, at least the ones available to us. The ones we liked were quickly off the list for various reasons. Our first list of names as of February 5th, 2010:

Laszlo
Albert
Lenard
Tibor
Zoltan
Attila
Boldizsar
Gabor
Lorand
Zoran
Istvan
Lukacs
Mihaly
Sandor
Zsigmond
Ferenc

Personally, I was at bat for Zsigmond. Baby Ziggy. Ziggs. Zig-zig. (For the record, I also wanted Izabella to be Izadora or Szilvia.)

As you can see, Lenard was on the first list and near the top. Really it was our best option, we just didn't have the courage for it.

As the pregnancy progressed there was another Lenard who made his presence known, my husband's ancestor from the 16th century. My husband uncovered his story while researching material for his new book, BURSTS. He may have a more recent family connection, but for sure our little Lenard's namesake is traced all the way back to Leonardus Barlabasi, the Latin for Lenard Barlabasi. Lenard was second in command ruling a province in Transylvania. Our Leo's Tata discovered that his letters, which survive in the administrative Latin used in that time, provide a window into the everyday life of that time. While he didn't win any battles or discover vitamin C, he was an top administrator and an avid letter writer. Our Leo may be a man of letters yet.

I would also like to include here a side note on the historical quest for Lenard's letter in the State Archives in Nagyszeben, Transylvania that did not make it into my husband's account in his new book. Yes, I was there with him. And as he mentions it was a sweltering summer day. I am not known to be tough as nails. I like air conditioning. I do. So I wilted next to him, my head resting on the table in utter exhaustion as his eyes nearly popped out of his head with excitement as he actually got to handle a letter written by Lenard in 1507. As it turns out, I was actually running a fever of 101 and would go on to develop a horrible racking cough. Not such a big deal, right? Except that I was eleven weeks pregnant with Izabella. Getting sick in Transylvania is no fun for an American. The Romanian hospitals are, well, creepy. I could go on. I could tell you how the doctor had no idea what I had, but that the nurse wrote down a recipe for onion syrup that she swore would clear up the cough. At any rate, I survived. Izabella survived. And Lenard's name survived too.

A final Lenard factor: Leonard Cohen. My husband introduced me to Cohen's music when he first wooed me. (That should tell you a lot.) Cohen was giving a concert in Boston. The tickets sold out quickly. Long story short, mama procured excellent tickets. I put Izabella to bed and left her with our sitter, that was the one and only date date since her birth. Hugely pregnant in a white summer dress I attended my first Leonard Cohen concert. It was brilliant. A gem. Totally worth every cent. And yet another positive Leonard to make us think that our little one could bear the name with pride.

11-Months: Lows and Highs

Leo has diarrhea. Iza had it last week. It is officially a bug. It is the real poopy deal. I thought I had seen diarrhea before with Izabella. Oh, no. Now I know. We have been eating the BRATY diet for too long--bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, and yogurt.

He also has the front four upper teeth erupting.

And then.

He face-planted on concrete. The blood, the tears.

A cool, wet cloth. A bit of nursing. Five minutes. He was over it. Me. Not yet.

The diarrhea? The good thing(s) about it:

1. I can finally spell diarrhea without resorting to using "die-uh-ree-uh."

2. White rice = really good, damn. Not sure I'll look at brown rice quite the same for a while.

In other news, Leo managed a bright spot on the day he turned 11-months-old: he climbed the stairs! It is the closest he has come to crawling. This one is a runner. Already I am below my pre-first-pregnancy weight (despite a diet that includes entire cartons of ice-cream and no official work-out program), this kid and his sister are going to turn me into a regular waif. Best diet ever: two toddlers.

More Lenard More

Leo is almost eleven months old. Currently he has one little toofer, the bottom front right tooth. But just because he is Leo, he is also working on at least three more teeth at the same time. And boy, oh boy, is he cranky. Poor little spud.

He now rides contentedly in the car seat. Thankfully our screaming infant days are mostly over. Car seats. My babies did not like them. At all. I didn't use pacifiers with my babies, but the car seat is one place that I wish I could have used it. There is just no way to comfort them in that plastic missile hurtling through space and time with mama just out of reach. Torture.

Just last week we had a first: Grandma was taking us to Allandale Farm to purchase our first garden supplies. Iza fussed a bit for snacks or water or something. Soon, however, I realized that the noise coming from the back seat was...giggles from both babies. They were making each other laugh. (I know that the giggling will soon drive me mad, they say.) But it was cool to know that they were communicating without words. And having a ball. I admit, I wanted to know what the hilarity was all about. But, mama, it is none of your business!

Leo is already hiking up his little foot and trying to climb onto the couch, the chair, anything. A climber indeed. (I have scheduled the babyproofing company. Yes, you can hire someone to do that. Yes, it is worth it.)

Leo is not an eater. Just not that into it. Especially not into sitting still in the high chair. He has figured out finger foods, which means he has lost interest in purees. One night, when Grandma and Grandpa were visiting, he sat peacefully and ate and ate and ate. I was amazed! Then he vomited three times. Projectile. Impressive.

Disclosure: I am also just not that into feeding Leo. There is no time to prepare the purees. He eats or not. He eats when we eat or not. He is still breastfeeding. He is fed. He is growing great guns. He will eat when he is hungry.

Leo wants to be exactly where Izabella is. Right on top of her. Preferably holding onto her hair and playing with the exactly the same toy. And when you try to distract him, he doesn't buy it for a second. He gets mad. If you take him across the house and show him a super cool ball, for example, he will calmly march straight back across the house to the super cool spoon, or whatever, that Izabella is using as a guitar. Yowsers. Yes, I have checked out "Siblings Without Rivalry." Would someone like to read it, prepare bullet points, and get back to me?

Leo Potato

Miss Izabella is a girl of a thousand names and a thousand more lullabies. Mr. Lenard, on the other hand, is Leo. And the one lullaby that emerged from my imagination stuck. Leo, Leo, You're my Little Potato / Leo, Leo, Sweet as a Summer Tomato. (Repeat.)

Even Izabella has started to call him "Leo Potato."

And when we tripled his birth weight well before the charts predicted, he was a little lump of spud--hard and hefty despite his diminutive size.

Some Numbers

Leo at 10-months-old:

Height: 29.8 inches (80%)

Weight: 19.34 pounds (18%)

That is right. Supermodel.

Exit Strategy

This evening I left the party early. With two kids in pajamas strapped into car seats. I prayed that they would sleep and that a method for getting them out of their seats and into their beds would appear to me en route. I am amazed to report that it worked. Leo cried intermittently all the way home. Iza was happy and drowsy and then suddenly snoring about fifteen minutes after we left. Both babies were asleep when I got home. When I took Iza out of her seat, she woke up. I managed to get her inside, find her wearable blanket, and get her into bed with a kiss. She didn't look happy about it, but didn't complain either. I then raced back to the car terrified that Leo was out there in full panic cry mode. Nope. Sound asleep. I carried him up to bed and we laid down together and he nursed back to sleep. So what if I missed the lobster. Two sleeping babes. A quiet house. A warm cup of tea. I am good.

All About Leo

Baby Leo is only 9 months, 3 weeks old. Yet I am starting to compile this-and-that for his 1-year-old montage of memories. Not being an over-achiever here. Just being realistic: it will take me at least three months to finish this job.

Context: On Iza's first birthday I wrote a portrait of her (Read it here: First Album.) I would like to do the same for Leo.

So here are some impressions when I think of Leo:

Speed. He came into this world at top speed and hasn't stopped. Well, he did go through that newborn slug stage, which Izabella somehow missed. And then he sat up. And then he learned that he could stick his little chubby paw into the air and someone (usually mama) would oblige him. Two impossibly chubbed thighs floating above two incredibly delicate ankles, would twist and lurch and hop upright. One step. Two. Then, if you held two hands, he would put his head down and run. Run. Lest we forget, this operation usually required the tongue thrust. His pink tongue curled up and over his lip on one side. Really, too cute. And as he started to take steps on his own, his grins would light up the room.

First food: mashed banana.

Bath: splasher. Avid. Gleeful. Not afraid to get his hair wet.

Sleep? I was happy to nurse Leo at night since his sister was nursing during the day. It was a comfort to know that he had full access at least at nighttime. He grew like a weed in the sun. He still loves to nurse at night. This means that he also wakes up frequently. Seriously, a three-hour stretch is a luxury. This kid usually needs a cuddle/nurse about thirty minutes after he goes to bed. Then it may be every hour, sometimes every 15 minutes. Thus, sleep followed by a question mark. Despite the work this entails, it is so delicious to sleep cuddled up next to him. Mama loves when I have my back to him in bed and he snuggles up against me. So warm and alive. So little and so big.

The eyes. The eyes. I have no idea if there is a name to describe them. They are rimmed in navy. The center is a version of brown that wants to be green. When I look into them I think: Earth. As in the earth viewed from outer space, a globe mostly dark blue with flecks of earth floating in a blanket of white clouds. It will slay me to have to fill in a form with one word: they are not just blue, or brown, or green. They are Earth.

and he awakes.....

Since Leo

A New Club

Miss Iza had her second birthday on February 8th. And as of that date, I can no longer claim membership to the 2-under-2 club. I suppose now I am in the 2-2-and-under club, but that doesn't quite garner the same insanity. With an over-2-year-old to my name I should have it all together by now. Parenting should be old hat, down pat, downright easy. Cutting baby nails? Been there. Teething? Been there. Making baby food. Done that.

Raising babies is "easier" with number 2. All that I learned raising Izabella has given me a frame of reference for the second baby. With Iza's every baby first, I would ask my mom, "Is this normal?" The weird newborn eyerolls. The frequency or lack thereof of poops. The list is endless. Now I have a sense of what is "normal," and even more importantly I understand that normal is way overrated.

A big bummer of parenting two little ones: illness. Wow. Does it suck to have a sick baby. Two sick babies are even worse. Worser still, sick babies + a sick mama. Poor me. We are not talking cancer. We are merely in the grip of lingering virus that causes mild fever followed by sinus woes. Leo is taking it the worse-est.

We are heading into night 13 of Baby Leo's fight against the family virus. By day he is cranky, but not too terrible. By night he drowns in his own snot. It is so sad to hear him try to breath. There is coughing, enough to make him gag and vomit. (I know. Sorry. But. Parenting babies is all about bodily fluids.) I have elevated our bed to create an incline. Vaporizer on full. Warm bath to loosen up the goo. I am doing all that I can and still we are up often in the night. I am okay with frequent waking when all that is needed is for me to nurse him back to sleep. But getting up to rock or bounce and walk or sing or all of the above is murder on this mama.

I admit it has led me to mutter quite loudly really bad words. I feel like a sh*t when I do it. But it usually releases some of my negative energy and allows me to refocus on the moment and endure. After so many nights, folks, I am not at my mothering best. It aint pretty.

The good news is that while I am not a patient woman, I do have endurance. And I do have a penchant for suffering bred into me by years of observing Lent and general Catholic culture. I may not be a saint, but I do understand the value of martyrdom.

I do not want my parenting to be defined by martyrdom, however. That seems all askew. I do not want to lose my life. I want to find it, create it in relationship with these little people.

Perhaps the nights of sitting with a suffering child who cries and thrashes and scratches (who seems entirely unappreciative of your love's labor) is a healthy dose of self-sacrifice. A way to die to self. It is certainly a way to wrinkle your skin and grey your hair.

And poor Leo. I can't wait to have my healthy, happy baby boy back.